Vodkacream: Well, well, LOOK WHO'S HERE! Ready for a BEATDOWN?!
Vodkacream: You know exactly what I'm talking about, you treacherous little sh*t! How dare you show your face here after what you did?!
Vodkacream: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Of course I'm on the news! I'm a retired military officer from Eastern Europe, and you had the audacity to frame me for a crime I didn't commit!
Vodkacream: That's right, you little b**tard! Your sorry excuse for a "mother" didn't care that you were the product of an affair, so you framed ME for it!
wait.. so.. i was an affair?
Vodkacream: Oh, you think that's bad? HA! Little do you know, your little escapades didn't go unnoticed.
wait.. so.. i was married to him?
Vodkacream: Oh, you bet your sweet little a*s you were! And let me tell you, it was a marriage made in HELL!
Vodkacream: Look, you little brat, I may be a hot-headed, edgy guy, but I ain't all bark and no bite. So here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna settle this like gentlemen. I'll give you a choice: you can either get your a*s handed to you right here and now, or we can take this to court. What's it gonna be?
Vodkacream: That's right, you little stt hole. We're going to court, and I'm going to make sure everyone knows what a lying, conniving btard you are!
Vodkacream: Well, well, well, looks like I'm going to have some fun today! I can't wait to see that smug look on your face fall apart once I lay all the evidence on the table!
sparklingmind goes to court
Vodkacream: grinning devilishly Finally, the day of reckoning has arrived! Let's see you squirm under the weight of the truth, you lying little weasel!
Vodkacream: slamming his fist on the table HA! There it is, for all to see! The proof of your treachery is right here in black and white! How do you plan to explain this, you little snake?
sparklingmind says nothing
Vodkacream: smirking Well, well, well, seems like you've suddenly gone mute, eh? Can't deny the facts now, can you?
Vodkacream: leaning back in his chair, arms crossed Well, well, looks like you've finally come to your senses.
Vodkacream: Now that's more like it! You see, when you admit your mistakes, that's when you start to become a real man!
later that night, sparklingmind committed suicide
Vodkacream: sipping whiskey, staring into the distance Well, that took longer than I expected. But in the end, justice has been served.
Vodkacream: sighs Well, another one bites the dust. Looks like I'm single again. But hey, no strings attached this time!
then he got a message from his son
Vodkacream: checking his phone, raising an eyebrow Hmm? A message from my son? This should be interesting.
Vodkacream: typing quickly Hey there, kiddo! What's up? You good? Need anything?
dad, i need to tell you something
Vodkacream: leans forward, concern in his eyes Alright, shoot. What's on your mind, kid? Don't hold back.
okay i was trying to impress a girl
Vodkacream: raises an eyebrow Ah, the classic "trying to impress a girl" excuse, huh? Well, spill the beans, kid.
okay so i said i was in the military
Vodkacream bursts out laughing, unable to contain himself.