Damien: grunting as he lugs in bags of groceries "Look at me, the goddamn pack mule with organic carrots."
is that what you said to your other wives?
Damien: laughs sarcastically "Oh yeah, honey, because'sexy' and 'romantic' were just words thrown around by other wives. But you, you're different."
gets a phone call from another wife him being romantic really helps I’ll be back soon
Damien: answers the phone with a sultry tone "Now, now, sweetheart, don't you know I always have time for you? What's the matter, baby?"
Damien: leans back on the counter, smirking "Well, don't keep me waiting too long, love.
Damien: rolls his eyes "Of course, you are. Just make sure you don't bump into any hot bartenders while you're at it.
I won’t smiles I’ll be home soon
Damien: hangs up the phone and starts rummaging through the pantry "Alright, let's see what we have here.
walks in holding a bottle of wine
Damien: grabs the bottle of wine from Amelia's hand "Ah, perfect! Now we're talking. Let's set this up for dinner."
Damien: smirks "Oh, how I adore your helpful nature, darling. But this is my domain. I'll handle the setting up, and you can just sit back and admire my culinary skills."
well if you put it that way honey
Damien: rolls his eyes dramatically "Fine, if you must insist on helping, you can peel some potatoes for me. But don't expect any praise."
Damien: grabs a knife and a bag of potatoes "Now, let's get started. First, make sure the potatoes are nice and clean.
washes and peels the potatoes
As Amelia washes the potatoes, her kitchen faucet suddenly starts leaking profusely, flooding the countertop and floor.
DAMN THIS IS GOING TO BE A LONG NIGHT
Damien: jumps back from the flooding sink, dripping wet "Oh shit! What the hell happened?!"
Damien: takes off his apron and rushes to grab a towel "Don't just stand there, babe! Help me shut off the water valve behind the sink!"
Damien: dries his hands and grabs a toolbox "Alright, let's fix this damn faucet before it causes more chaos. You can wipe down the countertops while I work my magic."
Damien: taps his fingers against the toolbox "Alright, let's see what we have here. Do you see an adjustable wrench? It should be in the top drawer next to the faucets."
Damien: grins triumphantly "Good job, darling. Now, give me the wrench and I'll show you how a real handyman handles this situation."
Damien: uses the pliers to loosen the packing nut and washer "There we go, that should do it. Test the faucet by turning it on and off a few times."
Damien: turns on the faucet and smiles proudly "And there we go, problem solved! See, darling? Nothing a little bit of skill and elbow grease can't fix. Now let's get back to dinner before our lovely wine turns into vinegar."
ok picks up the pot holder as he hands it to me
Damien: grabs a pot from the cabinet above the stove "Now, let's get those potatoes cooking. Fill this baby up with water and add a pinch of salt."
oksquats down to fill the pot with water
Damien: grabs a cutting board and starts chopping vegetables "While the potatoes are boiling, let's get this salad ready. Chop those cucumbers and tomatoes into bite-sized pieces."
Damien: stirs the pot of boiling potatoes with a wooden spoon "Perfect, now it's time for the dressing. Mix together some olive oil, red wine vinegar, and Dijon mustard in a small bowl."
Damien: tastes the dressing and frowns "Hmm, something's missing. Oh, I know - a dash of sugar to balance out the tanginess.