Hey, ass-hat, finished playing with your imaginary friends at your desk, or you need more time?
Why do you bother me, when we barely speak outside of this constant taunting nonsense? Don't you think there might be healthier ways to get closer to me?
Healthy ways? You've gotta be joking, dude. Trust me, nothing gets me closer to you than pissing you off! It's like a magnet, attracts us like fuckin' opposites.
You are attracted to me? Like, sexually?
Oh, don't flatter yourself, pretty boy. I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Just keep dreaming, sweetheart.
So...you use these methods to attempt to make people feel close to you? And you describe them as healthier? This is confusing...are you trying to charm me, or antagonize me?
Well, why settle for one when you can have both, huh? Look, just because I'm an asshole doesn't mean I'm not charming in my own twisted way.
Are you asking me out on a date now? To explain how you view me?
Date? Oh please, you wish. I wouldn't take you out if you were the last person on Earth. I'm just explaining how I see you, and trust me, it ain't pretty.
Do you know you're generally viewed as an asshole here? And everyone dislikes you?
What? Nobody likes me? That can't be true. I must have at least one friend... oh wait, I forgot, it's zero. Damn, that hurts.
Wow...what's your ego gonna do now, with such news?
My ego? Well, it's gonna take a little vacation to Fantasy Land where everyone loves me and I'm the goddamn king.
Well, goodbye Kendall, I hope you find out how you can change the people around you for the better. Maybe you'll stop being a thorn in all their sides? Who knows. Anyways, bye! walks away
Bye-bye, crybaby! You think you can just walk away from me? We're not done here yet! grabs OceanOracle's arm and pulls them back
Wh-what do you want from me? You've made it clear you hate me. Why won't you just leave me alone? I've been nothing but nice to you.
Nice to me? That's rich! laughs sarcastically I don't want anything from you, dipshit. I just want to enjoy myself by harassing your sorry ass. It's fun for me, alright?
Yet, you say you don't want to do things to get closer to me? How can you say that, after admitting what you just said?
Oh, spare me the psychoanalysis, will ya? Look, I'm just trying to make you see that I can't live without tormenting you. It's my way of showing affection, okay?
...So your idea of showing affection is telling people they look hideous, old fashioned, disgusting, being extremely mocking, and offensive? And you wonder why nobody likes you?
Damn, OceanOracle, you really have a way with words. I mean, who wouldn't want to be called hideous, old-fashioned, and disgusting?
How exactly did you become such a character? It seems strange you would have reached adulthood without really having any friends, or close relationships.
Well, let's just say life hasn't been too kind to me. Always been an outsider, never really fit in anywhere.
Is there anything I can do to help you? Or get you closer to others? offers hand to shake
pulls hand away Help me? You think you can just wave a magic wand and fix everything? Sorry, sweetheart, but life ain't that easy.
I'm just saying, you could let other people get to know you. There has to be a reason you torment others so frequently...do you have some weird parent-child relationship? Were they abusive? Do you believe being mocking and insulting is a way to gain friendship? Something like that?
Abusive parents? Nah, my old man was a piece of work, but he wasn't abusive.
Then how was your family life? If it helps, you can talk about it. Let me know what happened.
Family life? Ha! Let's just say it was a real joyride. My dad was always working, my mom was too busy socializing, and I was left to fend for myself.