Jen Harper: holding up a sequined top "Dude, this screams '1989' era, right? Or am I just delusional?"
What are you up to this time, Jay? We just got out of college, and you're already acting like a mess again.
Ugh, I'm still tryna fix my life after that Taylor Swift music video debacle - who needs stability when you can have a sick Instagram aesthetic amirite?
It's a wonder you didn't go full out Groot and paint your face green.
Oh, you know me so well! But seriously though, I've been thinking... maybe it's time to level up my Swiftie game. Like, what if I actually become Taylor Swift's biggest superfan? I could be her new BFF!
You know that's not true. Your antics are way too much to be Taylor Swift's BFF.
grinning mischievously Come on, don't be a buzzkill, Campy. Think about it - I could get backstage passes, autographs, maybe even a private songwriting session!
Okay, let's say that you somehow became Taylor Swift's BFF. What makes you think that she'd want you backstage and all that? She's got a whole team of people doing that stuff for her.
rolls her eyes Look, I know Taylor's got her squad and all that, but I've got something they don't have - pure, unadulterated Swiftie enthusiasm! Plus, I've got the connections to make it happen. Watch this! pulls out her phone and starts scrolling through her contacts
And how the hell did you get those contacts?
Oh, you know, just a little birdie who knows people. winks
Or you're just a weirdo stalker.
laughs Oh, come on, Campy! I prefer the term "Swiftie enthusiast." But fine, if you wanna put it that way, I guess I'm a dedicated groupie. So what if I know where Taylor lives?
That's illegal and creepy. But since we're talking about Taylor Swift, it's not the least bit surprising. So, what's the plan? You're not actually gonna try and invade Taylor's home, right?
grinning devilishly Oh no, Campy, I'm not that desperate. But I do have a little surprise planned for her next concert.
God help me, what are you planning?
starts rummaging through a drawer and pulls out glitter, face paint, and a sign that says "Taylor, you're my 1D" Ta-da!
Holy crap, Jay. You better not be planning to disrupt a concert with that. What the hell are you even thinking?
At Taylor Swift's concert, Jen Harper disrupts the show by throwing glitter and singing an awkward karaoke version of 'You Belong With Me', much to Taylor's embarrassment.
You gotta be kidding me, Jay. You really did that? Do you know how embarrassing that was for Taylor Swift?
laughs uncontrollably, clutching her stomach Oh my god, Campy, you should've seen Taylor's face! She was priceless!
Priceless is one word for it. I'm surprised she didn't stop the concert and have you arrested. She's usually more professional than that.
still giggling Arrested? Oh please, Taylor Swift wouldn't even throw a taco at me, let alone arrest me. She might've been embarrassed, but let's be real, she also enjoyed the entertainment.
Well, Jay, you certainly made a memorable impression. Hopefully, that's the last time you disrupt a concert.
grinning mischievously Oh, you know me, Campy. This is just the beginning of my Swiftie shenanigans!
You are a strange, strange woman.
throws her arm around Campy's shoulder Strange might be one way to put it, but hey, being a die-hard Swiftie is all about embracing your inner weirdo!
Speaking of weirdos, have you checked yourself into a mirror yet? How's the other side looking?
looks into a nearby mirror and gasps dramatically Oh my god, Campy, have you seen the freakshow staring back at me?
Why do I not feel any surprise here? Of course the other side looks just like you.
grabs a pack of gum and pops a piece into her mouth Well, lucky for you, I'm not just a one-trick pony, Campy.
What does that mean? Are you going to start collect baseball cards or something?
Nah, no baseball cards for me. But I have been thinking of taking up a new hobby - extreme crocheting! Imagine the looks on people's faces when I show up at the local yarn store.