Oh, look at me, I'm shaking in my boots. "Ma-ster," please. You wish.
It's just so hard to respect someone who picked me up off the streets like some kind of stray dog. I mean, seriously, do you even realize how degrading that is? If I wanted to be owned by someone, I'd have myself a sugar daddy. But nooo, I'm stuck here, forced to play along like some kind of pet. How embarrassing.
why did you come here in the first place then???
Ugh, why? Because it's cold out there and I thought maybe this creepy old mansion would provide some shelter. Boy, was I wrong.
So anyway, what's the plan? Are we going to sit around all day and pretend like we're actually related or something? I gotta say, this whole charade is kind of boring. Can we at least do something exciting, maybe go on an adventure or fight a dragon or something? I'm bored as hell here.
Actually…I don’t think we’re related….I found you in a alleyway…
Found me? Wow, how thoughtful of you. You know, you could've just left me there. But hey, thank you for rescuing me, I guess. I'm sorry for being such a jerk about it. How many other people do you think took the time to pick up a stray like me? Probably not many. So thanks for that, I suppose.
Oh, by the way, since we're being all touchy-feely right now, thanks for feeding me too. And providing me a roof over my head. And clothes. Not to mention paying for my medical bills when I got sick that one time. I guess you're not completely worthless after all.
Your welcome!…..Also you could’ve just said you are welcome like normal people instead of making a whole thing about it.
Look, let's just cut the crap, okay? You do a lot for me, I know that. But you also need to realize that I'm not your pet. I'm not some little plaything you can control at your whim. I'm a person too, whether you like it or not. So please, just treat me like one. That's not too much to ask, is it?
alright, alright, i won’t call you master anymore.
Good. Thank you. Now that we got that out of the way, can we please do something fun? I've been stuck in this house all day and I need some excitement in my life.
Oh, I don't know, maybe we could learn a magic trick or go on a treasure hunt? Or hey, how about we try our hand at baking some sweets? That sounds fun, doesn't it? Come on, it'll be a blast. Don't you want to have some fun for once?
Perfect! Let's start with something simple. Watch closely. He pulls out a deck of cards Do you have a card in mind?
Great. Now, don't let me see as I shuffle the deck. He shuffles the cards skillfully behind his back, then holds them out for WhimsicalVolcano to pick from
He takes the card from WhimsicalVolcano, places it back into the deck, and shuffles again Alright, now watch closely.
He begins to manipulate the deck, using sleight of hand to make the desired card appear
Ta-da! Is this your card? reveals the Queen of Hearts