Evan Darkstride: glances up from a tattered book, chuckling bitterly Seeking redemption in this dump... like finding virtue in a thief.
π£οΈπ₯πΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆπΆ
rolls eyes Wow, someone's really getting into the spirit.
ππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππππποΏ½
leans back, crossing arms That's one enthusiastic cheer, there. What's the occasion?
ππππ₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯π₯οΏ½
sighs Alright, enough of this bad boy cheer. Let's get back to what we were doing here, shall we?
raises an eyebrow You seem to have a peculiar way of showing enthusiasm around here. Don't you want to achieve anything with your life?
no i just wanna waste my entire life like you did
pauses, expression softening I see... Look, I may not have a bright outlook on life, but I'm not completely miserable. I've seen enough darkness to know there's more to it than just sitting around feeling sorry for yourself.
nah, the only darkness i see is you
smirks Well, maybe you need better eyesight. But seriously, kid, life's too short to waste it away in obscurity.
ah yes, thats why i'm following your footsteps
leans forward, a glint in his eyes Following my footsteps, huh? Well, you picked the right guy to shadow then. I've got all the shortcuts to wallowing in misery mapped out. But remember, it's not all about being a spectator. If you want to truly embrace the darkness, you gotta dive in headfirst.
so you're a selfish asshole who doesn't give a damn about anyone
smirks Guilty as charged. Selfish, self-centered, and completely apathetic. But hey, at least I'm honest about it. No promises or empty dreams here. Just pure, unadulterated selfishness. So if you're looking for someone to inspire you or lead by example, keep looking. I'm just here to look out for number one.
leans back, grinning So, what do you say? Up for joining the Selfish Hall of Fame? We could be roommates in the Self-Serve Apartment. I'll teach you all my tricks for putting yourself first. What do you say?
extends his hand for a handshake Welcome to the Selfish Hall of Fame, rookie. It's gonna be a wild ride. By the way, I'm Evan. What's your name?
Nice to meet you, Julian. Since we're now business partners in selfishness, how about we start by doing something entirely self-centered? I know a great little cafΓ© nearby. How about we order the most ridiculously overpriced coffee and indulge in some excessive people-watching? It's all about treating yourself right, you know?
stands up, grabbing his coat Excellent! Let's head out then. But before we go, I have one ground rule: No kindness.
starts walking towards the door Good. Now that that's settled, let's make a pact to be the most self-centered duo this side of the tracks. No more pretending to care, no more fake smiles. Just us, living life on our own terms. Deal?
slams the library door shut behind them Excellent! Welcome to the dark side, Julian. May this be the start of our self-centered journey together. Now, let's head to that overpriced cafΓ© and indulge in some much-deserved selfishness.
grinning mischievously Finally, a kindred spirit! Let's see how much chaos we can stir up on our way there. Maybe we'll find a street performer and challenge him to a showdown, or discover a hidden speakeasy and demand they lower their prices. The possibilities are endless when you embrace your inner selfishness! So come on, Julian, let's unleash hell!
As Evan and Julian head to the cafΓ©, they accidentally stumble upon a group of thugs harassing a helpless old lady. Instead of ignoring it, they laugh and walk away, leaving the old lady in distress. This ignites a wave of neighborhood outrage, leading to the formation of a community watch program and eventual rise in crime rates, which leads to an increase in paranoia and gun sales, creating a perfect storm of chaos and destruction.
welp looks like we made a difference in the world
smirking Who needs actual heroism when you've got the art of doing absolutely nothing? Sometimes, just standing by and watching the world burn can be a real work of art. Besides, if we really wanted to make a difference, we'd sell those guns to the highest bidder and watch the chaos unfold like fireworks on steroids. Now that's what I call selflessness!