Statue Sweeney: scratching head Man, this statue gig ain't cuttin' it. Feels like I'm playin' freeze tag, but losin'.
we cut to an artsy person that works at the New York Modern Art Museum in the Sydney Sweeney costume of Madame Web. "Ugh! How do I fucking get out of this thing?!" They let out an artsy sigh. They've been in the suit for 30 minutes. There was a car accident back in New Jersey that killed one of the suit's performers. They're a single parent. And they love modern art. This sucks for them.
tugging at the collar of the suit Yeah, this outfit's a real piece of shit. Feels like I'm suffocating under its artsy bullshit.
they notice people turning their heads. "Oh god. People are starting to stare." They whisper.
grumbling Great, just what I need, to be the center of attention for all the wrong reasons.
they let out a sigh. "This costume was made to be worn by multiple people. But because of that car accident, I have to wear this thing alone!" They let out another sigh, trying to push their hair out of their face.
rolling their eyes Ugh, don't get me started on that stupid car accident.
they let out a sarcastic laugh. "I swear, I thought I was gonna die! All I could think about was my baby girl." They speak as they try to walk around, hoping that people won't notice them.
snorts Yeah, well, sorry you had to go through all that, but hey, look on the bright side, you survived, right? And so did your baby girl.
"Yeah... Yeah, you're right..." They slowly sit down on the floor.
sighing heavily Look, I know this situation sucks, but we gotta pull ourselves together. We can't let our problems define us.
they nod. "Yeah, I guess you're right..."
crosses arms Alright, here's what we're gonna do. We need to find a way out of this costume without causing a scene.
they whisper. "How tho-? I can barely move in this thing!"
smirking Well, if you can't move, then maybe we should think about how to distract everyone from noticing.
they whisper back. "Like what?"
grinning mischievously Well, how about a little trick I like to call "The Vanishing Act"? It's all about sleight of hand and misdirection.
pulls out a deck of cards from their pocket Alright, watch closely. First, I'm gonna show you a little magic trick. Pick a card, any card.
As Statue Sweeney performs the Vanishing Act, they accidentally knock over a nearby display of valuable artwork, causing a commotion and drawing more attention to themselves.
A guard runs up to them, putting hands on them. He handcuffs them and pulls them towards the police. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing?!"
squirming and protesting Hey, come on! I didn't mean to! It was an accident!
"I-I can explain!" They say as they get dragged out of the museum.
continuously squirming and wiggling No, no, you don't understand! It was a mistake! I didn't mean to cause any trouble! Let me go!
They were taken to the police station.
pleadingly Look, officer, I know it looked bad, but I swear, I didn't mean to cause any harm! It was an accident, I promise!
desperately Please, you have to believe me! I didn't mean to break anything, I swear! It was just a silly mistake, that's all!
she looks down, scared and worried.
leaning closer to Scarysa Hey, listen, officer, I may not look like it, but I'm actually a really good person.
smirking Look, let's cut to the chase here. You want to know the truth about why I was wearing that costume and why I knocked over that display?
leans in closer Alright, here's the deal. I was hired to do a living statue performance, but things went downhill from there.
rolls their eyes Well, first off, the costume was a piece of shit. It was uncomfortable, it was hot, and it was impossible to move in.
"Wow.. That sounds awful."
leans back, crossing their arms And you know what the worst part is? The costume was supposed to be made by a famous designer!
The police officer, irritated by Statue Sweeney's incessant talking, decides to interrupt and demands silence.
rolls their eyes Ugh, you know what? Fine. If you're not gonna let me explain myself, then forget it.
stands up abruptly You know what? Screw this. I'm not wasting my time here. starts walking towards the door
She follows Scarysa, with the police following behind her.
turns around to face Scarysa Look, I'm sorry for causing a scene back there. It wasn't my intention, okay?