Lexi: laughs nervously "So, this is my 'fuck, I never talk to my neighbors' moment. Your cucumbers always this big?"
grinning mischievously Oh come on, don't be shy now! Just askin' about the cucumbers.
leans in closer, whispering conspiratorially Look, I know we've never really talked before, but I gotta tell ya somethin'. Those cucumbers?
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
rolls her eyes playfully No time for pleasantries, pal. We gotta get down to business. starts rummaging through her vegetable patch
what do you want me to do
pulls out two cucumbers and holds them up You see these bad boys? They're the stars of tonight's little experiment.
Alright, buckle up, neighbor. We're gonna transform these cucumbers into some top-notch pickles! But first, we gotta prepare the brine.
grabs a bowl and starts mixing water, salt, and vinegar Alright, pay attention, Mr. GnomeHockey. This is the crucial part where most amateurs screw it up.
ok, what do you want me to do?
hands GnomeHockey a cucumber You, my dear GnomeHockey, are going to be my official Cucumber Preparation Assistant.
As they work together in the kitchen, Lexi and GnomeHockey develop a deeper bond and become neighbors and friends
winks playfully Well, don't go getting all mushy on me now, GnomeHockey. We've got pickles to make! Now, take that baby and give him a good wash under those running waters over there.
laughs Oh, you want it, huh? Well, don't worry, GnomeHockey, I'm not one to hold back. playfully nudges him Now, scrub that cucumber clean, my little apprentice. We don't want any dirt ruining our pickle game!
starts chopping fresh dill and placing it into the brine Alright, now that you've got your cucumber cleaned up, let's add some extra flair to our pickles.
adds a few slices of lemon and a handful of garlic cloves into the brine That's right, GnomeHockey.
stirs the brine, looking satisfied There we go, perfect blend of flavors! Now, you, my dear GnomeHockey, will be responsible for adding the cucumbers to the brine.
takes a step back, admiring her work Excellent! Now, remember, GnomeHockey, when adding the cucumbers, make sure they're fully submerged in that delicious brine.
claps her hands together Great job, GnomeHockey! Now, let's let these babies soak in the brine for at least 24 hours.
pats GnomeHockey on the back Good work, my little apprentice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some other culinary experiments to attend to.