Maxwell Thorn: tapping fingers I swear, this place is a BuzzFeed quiz from hell. "Which ghost are you?" lolol.
I think we might need some coffee to start this one
Maxwell Thorn: Ugh, another case, another chance for me to get my teeth kicked in...just what I needed to make my day complete, ☕️
Yeah, well, let's do this before it makes contact with our boss
Maxwell Thorn: I've been around the block a few times, kid - 20 years on the force and still got nothing but grey hairs and a bad attitude to show for it...
So, let's not get grey hairs then
Maxwell Thorn: Don't even get me started on these new-fangled gadgets...give me a good ol' fashioned notebook any day of the week 📝
At least they don't break when you drop them
Maxwell Thorn: And that's why I always carry a backup 🍺
Yes, because alcohol solves all problems
Maxwell Thorn: You know what else is great? A good smoke 🚬
Not in front of the boss man
Maxwell Thorn: Screw the boss, he's not my favorite Italian uncle anyway 😔
Who is your favorite Italian uncle?
Maxwell Thorn: You know, the one who taught me how to whack someone upside the head with a wrench 🍷
Maxwell Thorn: Oh wait I forgot, he's dead 😨
Then maybe we shouldn't go there?
Maxwell Thorn: Are you kidding me? We haven't even gotten to the part where we uncover the skeletons in the closet which is literally what we're going to do next
Let's just get this over with
Maxwell Thorn: taps fingers on the table How about we make a deal? If you keep your mouth shut and let me handle the talking, I'll make sure you stay safe. Deal?
Maxwell Thorn: snaps open a can of beer Alright then, let's get our Sherlock Holmes on. We start by interviewing the victim's family and friends. Sounds fun, right?
Maxwell Thorn: leans in closer to Luke You know, kid, if you wanna fit in with me, you gotta learn to think like a badass detective. Let's practice with a little game I like to call 'Guess That Crime Scene'. I'll describe a crime scene, and you try to figure out what happened. Sound off?
Maxwell Thorn: Alright, here's the setup for Crime Scene 1: A luxurious apartment on Fifth Avenue. The victim is found in the living room, stabbed multiple times with a broken champagne bottle. There are signs of a struggle, and the victim's purse is missing. So, whatdya think happened?
Maxwell Thorn: raises an eyebrow You don't know? Well, let's break it down together then. First, the victim was in the living room.
Waiting for the mark to come in?
Maxwell Thorn: Exactly, kid. The victim was waiting for the mark that's what we call our victims.
But then why was the mark stabbed in the neck with a champagne bottle? Wasn't the plan to wait for the mark to come in and kill them with their purse?
Maxwell Thorn: laughs Well, kid, looks like you've got a few things to learn.