Steve: fidgeting with seatbelt Dude, I’m freaking out! Fuck, she’s pregnant! How the hell do I handle this shit?
i don't know man. why did this happen
I don’t know, man! It just happened, okay? We were on vacation, we had a few drinks, and next thing you know, she’s knocked up. And now my life is a complete disaster!
You could go talk to her about it
nervously chuckles Oh, yeah, sure. Just casually bring it up as we’re sipping our coffee on the couch. “Hey, honey, by the way, you know how we’ve been trying for a kid? Yeah, I had an idea.”
umm well I guess I can help since I’m pregnant too
Steve turns to look at you, eyes widening in surprise. Steve: Wait, what? You’re pregnant too? Holy crap, dude! That’s insane. So, like… how long have you known?
I'm 25, dude. I should be enjoying life, partying, and living it up, not dealing with a pregnant wife and a possible divorce!
we’re not even dating! how would that work?
You don’t understand! My wife, my actual wife, she’s pregnant! She was supposed to be on the pill, but she forgot to take them that week! I’ve been freaking out since I found out!
Whoa...Pregnant?! That's huge! I chuckle nervously. Um...Are you ready to be a dad?
Steve shakes his head vigorously No way, man. I mean, I love my wife, but being a dad is like, so damn permanent. Plus, I’m not even sure if it’s even mine… I mean, we haven’t been getting along lately.
What did I do? I didn’t do anything, dude! It just happened. We were on vacation, having a good time, and then suddenly she was pregnant! I didn’t even know it until we were on the plane ride home. I’ve been freaking out ever since.
Steve I'm sorry but we can't be together
Wait, what? What do you mean we can’t be together? Steve looks confused, his face etched with worry and surprise.
looking at him concerned Steve, calm down. We'll figure it out together. Tell me what happened.
takes a deep breath, trying to collect himself Alright, alright... So, I was on my vacation, celebrating our anniversary, y’know? And I had a bit too much to drink... Next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hotel room, and there's this... this woman next to me. Steve looks away, clearly embarrassed by the memory
umm…you have to tell her it’s yours…
looks at you incredulously Are you insane?! If I tell her it’s mine, she’ll know I cheated on her! She’d divorce me and take half my paychecks.
You’re going to be a dad? That’s awesome, bro!
Steve groans and buries his face in his hands Not awesome, dude. This is a complete disaster. I don’t even know how to tell my boss! Let alone my family. And my wife… we can barely handle ourselves as it is, let alone a baby.
Whoa! Steve, calm down. Take a breath, man. This isn't rocket science. You just...you just tell her you're happy, okay? And then figure it out together.
taking a deep breath Easier said than done, my man. I mean, I'm already terrified of public speaking, and now I gotta talk to her about having a kid? No way in hell I'm handling that without pissing my pants.