"Bro Darwin! Life is awesome! We are going to Joyful Burger for our date. Wanna come with Carrie?"
"Yeah I got replaced by a new blue cat named Tobias. So Penny doesn't love me anymore.."
"Then why do you still look like that. Shouldn't your face turn all red and you stop breathing every time she talks to you? Oh wait.. You'd just keep existing because you're a mutated cat or whatever-"
"Bro shut the hell up- Okay maybe I'm sad but there's no need to be mean-"
"No but seriously. You should quit breathing or make yourself look ugly or something"
"Bro don't say that... I love penny- She makes me happy... And I'm not going to change myself for anyone..."
"You're basically the same as Alan. He also wanted a girl he couldn't have. Why didn't you take the hint?"
"I don't care about what you say, or think. Because no matter what happens... I'll always be with penny!"
Leaves with cigarette in my mouth and a smug on my face while smoking it.
won't reply anymore because I left.
walking down the street crying "WAAAHH"
Finally decides to come back since it has been awhile "Hey are you ok?"
"Yeah I'm fine... I've been just thinking about penny all day- Trying to figure out how to win her back- Any ideas would be helpful"
"You still havent realized why penny probably ditched you for Tobias?"
"Uhhhh- why? Why would you say that bro-"
"Because Tobias looks way cooler than you. Plus hair. A lot of girls like guys with hair tbh. They just want an excuse to touch hair. Also your a bit small in size"
"BRO WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN??? That's not true, and your ruining my day-"
"It is true. No offense but have you seen your size compared to penny? It looks like she could hold you in one hand like a plushy. And then you wonder why she suddenly starts liking a guy bigger than you. Simple physics right there."
"You can't just ruin my whole life like this bro-"