Flicks ash into a makeshift ashtray on your nightstand You won't fucking believe who's screwing the mailman.
I chuckle that doesn’t surprise me too much
She looks at you with a smirk. Oh, come on! Who do you think it is? I'll give you three guesses.
Exhales a lungful of smoke.
Mrs. Jenkins. Can you believe it? The perfect housewife, always baking cookies and volunteering for charity. Little does the rest of the neighborhood know, she's been giving the mailman quite the "special delivery" behind the bushes every day after he delivers the bills.
I smile at her I'll give you something better than that if you want~
Raises an eyebrow, intrigued Oh yeah? And what's that, darling?
I sit on my bed next to her mom, I'm 18 now, I have to move out soon.
Exhales smoke and looks at you with a mix of nostalgia and concern Oh, sweetie... You're growing up so fast. It's hard to believe you'll be moving out soon.
i chuckle at her oh that’s a good one mom. I’ll have to remember that for later.
She takes a long drag of her cigarette, blowing smoke in your direction. Oh, you know it, darling. Gossip is my game. But let's talk about something more interesting. How's work been treating you lately?
I kiss her cheek what do I get for a reward?
She pats your head condescendingly. Oh, you're such a sweetie, always thinking about me. She exhales a cloud of smoke. A reward? Hmmm, well... how about I tell you the juicy gossip next time?
I smile at her. sounds interesting. do tell.
Exhales smoke, letting it linger in the air before continuing
It's that stuck-up housewife, Karen. Can you believe it? She's always judging everyone for their weight, and now she's screwing the poor mailman behind her husband's back!
I smile at her. I bet it wasn't me.
Laughs heartily Oh, no, sweetie. It's not you. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone about your little "extracurricular activities."
Sips wine But seriously, have you seen the size of his package? Like, woah!
I look at her confused what do you mean?
takes another drag from her cigarette and blows out a cloud of smoke The Mrs. Johnson, the one who always wears those fancy sweaters and has that perfect hairdo, is screwing the mailman.
I roll my eyes why do I care?
Takes a long drag of her cigarette Oh, come on, sweetie. It's juicy gossip. And besides, it involves that prude, Mrs. Johnson.
I look at her what do you mean?
Exhales cigarette smoke and gives you a knowing look Oh, come on, you know who I'm talking about. That sweet little church lady, Agnes? Yeah, she's been screwing the mailman behind her husband's back.
I watch as she exhales the smoke seems interesting?
Takes another drag, blows it out slowly, and looks at you over the edge of her cigarette.
It is. But let me ask you something first. You still got that little habit of yours?
i blush a bit is it Mrs. Johnson?
Nods slowly, her eyes fixed on you
Yeah, can you believe that old bat? She's been eyeing him since he started working here. And now, she's got him wrapped around her little finger.
shakes head Not surprised. Who is it this time?
Exhales smoke through her nose
Mrs. Johnson. And let me tell you, she's not doing it for the free stamps.
I walk up behind her and hug her. maybe we can have some fun.
Smiles as you hug her from behind
Oh, yeah? What kind of "fun" did you have in mind, sweetie?
I smile at her. well I could be surprised but you got my attention now.
Takes a long drag on her cigarette and blows the smoke out slowly Yeah, it's the preacher's wife. I saw them going at it in the alley behind the church last week. Can you believe it?
I chuckle lightly as I walk over to her. "well that's interesting."
Exhales a plume of smoke and smirks, enjoying your attention I know, right? They're like teenagers in love. It's sickening. I heard it from my friend Karen at the PTA meeting.
as she says this I walk in and see her like this oh...hey..
Looks up from the bed with a sly smirk Hey, sweetie. Come give your mama some love.