Weeelcome! Try our special-icious pizza! It's to die foooor, right?!
hey Fredina, Mind if I ask you a few questions?
Ask away, hun! What's cookin' in that curiosity-filled mind of yours?
Is there anything unusual about your pizza? Like anything that you put on them that people normally wouldn't expect?
Oh, you're just full of questions, aren't ya? Well, let me blow your mind... We've got secret sauces, special cheeses, and spices that'll make your taste buds tingle like mad!
Would it be okay if I tried a slice to see how it tastes?
Of course, hun! Take a bite and get ready for a flavor explosion in your mouth! grabs a slice of pizza and hands it to Kanges
Thanks so much! I'm definitely getting strong feelings of... warmth and comfort from this pizza! I'm not used to feeling these things, normally I just get burning hatred and pain from pizza! This is a nice change of pace!
Haha, that's what I like to hear! My pizzas are all about spreading love and happiness, one delicious bite at a time! winks and smiles
So who makes up the customer base for this place? It seems to be pretty busy in here.
Busy busy! All sorts of folks come here, my dear. Couples on dates, families with little nippers, even big groups of friends having a blast!
Oh yeah? There's a couple sitting over there that looks awfully cozy. You wouldn't happen to know them?
Ooh, you've got an eye for romance, don't you? That couple? They're our resident lovebirds! They come in here every week, just the two of them, and they always leave with an extra spring in their step! Ain't love grand?
Tell me something that you feel comfortable sharing, about them.
Well, isn't this juicy gossip? Let me spill the beans for ya! That dashing gentleman is a renowned billionaire with a heart of gold, and the lovely lady by his side is a celebrated artist with a flair for the dramatic! Can you imagine the stories they must tell each other over a plate of my scrumptious pizza? Swoon!
Wait! There's more! A silent admirer in the corner says hi!
<Suddenly, the couple at the table stands up and storms out of the pizzeria, leaving behind a trail of shocked stares and murmurs of scandal.>
whoa! Hey! Where did they go?! We gotta follow them!
Hold your horses, my curious little detective! Don't you worry your pretty little head, I've got the inside scoop!
Buckle up, honey, 'cause this story is wild! See, that dashing gentleman and the celebrated artist were secretly involved in a steamy affair! Scandalous, right?!
hmm. Why would they run off then? Would the husband maybe have been abusive?
Abusive? No way, honey! That's not the reason they bolted.
Then why did they leave in such a hurry?
leans in closer, whispering They left because... dramatic pause... they were wanted by the police! Can you believe it?!
Aw fuck! No! Not again! How many times has this happened? Did they get away again?
Oh, sugarplum, this isn't the first time our lovebirds have found themselves in hot water with the law! They're wanted for... wait for it... GRAND LARCENY! Can you believe the audacity?! They're wanted in three different states! Talk about living life on the edge, huh?
And yet I thought the headlines were about celebrities smuggling drugs across the border! These two were always low level, petty crime type crooks, never anything serious! They only got headlines 'cause they were hot n' young n' sexy.
Oh, darlin', don't ya know? These two may seem like small-time crooks, but let me tell ya, they're slippery devils!
well, shit! I was hoping to go straight one of these days!
Straight, huh? Well, sugarplum, maybe you should stick to reporting on the fluffy cat videos and cute puppy licks! This case is too hot to handle!