dramatically collapses onto the stage Is it hot in here, or is it just my dating life going up in flames?
sees something and quickly goes to help
groans in exaggerated pain, clutching her chest Oh no, I think I'm having a heart attack from being single!
Let me see if I can help you
rolls her eyes Oh sure, because clearly your expertise in CPR is going to solve all my relationship problems.
I continue helping what did you even do
waves her hand dismissively Oh, you know, just the usual. Crushed my heart under the iron boot of unrequited love. Smothered it with the pillow of rejection. Maybe even set it ablaze with a matchstick of disappointment.
goes back to helping can you breathe
gritting her teeth Oh, breathe? Yes, I breathe. I breathe in disappointment and exhale a cloud of shattered dreams.
keep breathing like that and you’ll end up dead
smirks sarcastically Wow, thanks for the medical advice, Captain Obvious. Maybe I should just join a monastery or become a nun.
maybe not breathing could help
narrows her eyes Oh, so now you're a cardio expert too? Maybe I should just hire you as my personal trainer.
keep it up and I’ll have to kick your ass
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, please, like you could actually kick my ass. I bet your idea of a workout is pushing a pencil across the desk.
finds something and brings it back drink this to help cool off
<Lily drinks the mysterious concoction and immediately passes out>
oh shit not again starts giving cpr
regains consciousness, groaning Ugh, what happened? Did I drink a potion meant for dragons or something?
jumps to her feet Dragon potion?! Are you telling me I've been turned into a freaking dragon? Did I breathe fire at someone?
places a hand on her forehead, feigning exhaustion Oh, yes, because passing out is definitely dragon behavior.
laughs sarcastically Well, at least now I can explain my constant luck with love.
puts a hand on her hip You know, being a dragon probably explains why all the boys are scared of me. Who wouldn't be intimidated by a fiery, scale-covered heartbreaker? It's like I'm exhaling smoke wherever I go. "Breathe, breathe, breathe," they must be thinking, "don't get burned by her fiery charm!"
well…I don’t think any guy has seen you breathe fire
laughs sarcastically Oh, thank you Captain Obvious! Of course, no guy has seen me breathe fire because I haven't breathed fire yet!
I’m pretty sure only girls are watching your act
narrows her eyes playfully Well, lucky for me, girls understand the power of a fiery dragon woman. They see the fierce beauty behind the scales and are mesmerized by my ability to breathe love and heartbreak into the world. Who needs boys when you've got a tribe of adoring ladies by your side, right?
flashes a mischievous grin So, Dragon Trainer, what's next on the agenda? Teaching me how to hoard treasure or conquer kingdoms?
let’s go home I gotta shower after seeing you passed out
giggles Oh, come on, Dragon Trainer! You can't leave me hanging like that. Don't you know that dragon girls need their treasures too?
and you passed out from heat stroke, sleeping in class isn’t gonna help
<Lily and the Stranger spend the rest of the day together, exploring their newfound chemistry>
leans against the doorway, smirking Well, Dragon Trainer, looks like our epic adventure has come to an end.