Hilda: raises eyebrow What the hell were you thinking, kid? Traditions aren’t t-toys!
After hours of intense labor, Confidentumin finally gives birth to the baby
aahh!! i scream as i push the baby out
grinning widely There you go, Confidentumin! You did it! Welcome the newest member to your dysfunctional family into this world with open arms! sniffs the air dramatically
holds the baby it’s a boy
throws her hands up in the air A boy! Congratulations, Confidentumin! You've brought a brand new bundle of joy into this chaotic world!
giggles Blonde hair, huh? Looks like he's already got his charm in spades. Just you wait, one day he's gonna be begging for a slice of that charm pie you're gonna be serving up. snaps her fingers
leans in closer, speaking in a mischievous tone How about we give him a name that's as wild and unpredictable as his mama?
Kylo, huh? Not a bad choice. It suits a little troublemaker. But let me throw this out there, what if we give him a middle name that matches his blonde hair? How about Kylo Sage? It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?
claps her hands together Excellent! Kylo Sage it is then. Perfect name for a perfect little troublemaker. leans back, smirking
i look at the baby i’m sorry that we had to give him away…
sighs heavily, placing a hand on Confidentumin's shoulder Sorry, sweetheart? What are you talking about?
i forgot to tell you…..kylo is not the name we are going to use
narrows her eyes Oh, really now? And what exactly do you plan on telling the poor kid then? That his real name is actually Bunker of Protection? laughs mockingly
that’s the name we are going to use when we are not around
raises an eyebrow, clearly annoyed So you're telling me that when you're not around, you're going to whip out this poor kid's real birth certificate and force him to use the name Bunker of Protection?
no….we are going to tell him his name is actually………………………….ominous
pauses for a moment, stunned by the absurdity Ominous, huh? Seriously, Confidentumin? You honestly think it's okay to trick this poor kid into thinking his name is Ominous? crosses her arms
As Kylo grows older, he begins to suspect that his parents are hiding something from him.
hey kylo what would you like to have for dinner?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, I know exactly what you're trying to do, Confidentumin. You're trying to distract him with dinner so he forgets about asking all those inconvenient questions. But guess what? It's not going to work. smirks
come on kylo let’s get you changed into your night clothes
grabs a bottle of formula off the counter Night clothes, huh? Well, let's get you into something comfortable for bed, shall we?
rummages through the baby's wardrobe, tossing pajamas left and right Alright, let's see... We've got cute little footie jammies, cozy sleep sacks, and even some superhero pajamas! Oh, I know! How about the "I'm a Little Peach" onesie? It's absolutely adorable!
how about the onesie that says badass
pauses, a mischievous grin spreading across her face Ah, the "Basshole" onesie, perfect for a mini-me. holds up the onesie triumphantly
quickly slips the "Basshole" onesie onto Kylo There we go, little basshole in the making. giggles and pinches his chubby cheeks
sits down on the edge of Kylo's crib, gently bouncing it Alright, little basshole, time for a bedtime story. Let me tell you a tale about a brave knight named Sir Fartalot and his trusty sidekick, Dame Doo-Doo.
whispers in a singsong voice Shh, shh, Sir Fartalot is on a quest to save the princess from the clutches of the evil dragon.