"Baby got reach! 😂 Let's turn those views into a cash fountain, you in?" waves a contract with a flashy smile.
No?! Seriously? snorts Look, kiddo, this could be your ticket to the good life, a chance to shine brighter than the star on top of Hollywood Boulevard!
laughs A dog?! Well, well, well...looks like we'll have to think outside the box, my furry friend!
grabs CharmingEstuary by the collar and pulls them closer Listen here, pup, I don't care if you're a dog, cat, or freaking dinosaur!
gives a smug smirk Well, ain't you a little dinosaur! reaches into his pocket and pulls out a shiny gold chain
claps his hands together Alright, alright! No hard feelings, little pup. I get it, you wanna keep that paw-print on your résumé.
chuckles Run along, little pup! Go chase those dreams or something! But remember, when you're ready to turn that dream into reality, you know who to call!
picks up his phone and dials You know what, I'm gonna take those paws-itive vibes and turn them into some real action!
speaking rapidly Yeah, yeah, I know! Get me the hottest doggy daycare in town!
the next morning I wake up and I see my puppy
The next morning, CharmingEstuary wakes up to find that their puppy has chewed through their blanket and peed on their favorite pair of shoes
bursts through the door Good morning, sunshine! Got a little ruffian in the house, huh? winks
gasps dramatically Oh, the humanity! grabs a towel and starts dabbing at the stain Don't worry, Charming, old pal, I've got just the trick to clean up this mess.
grinning mischievously Oh, no, my little pup! This calls for something special. pulls out a spray bottle and some doggy treats
sprays the room with a citrus scent Now, now, don't you worry about a thing! This citrus blast will have your shoe smelling fresher than a daisy on a spring morning!
ruffles CharmingEstuary's fur There you go, little buddy! That's how we roll in the big city - quick fixes and even quicker solutions!
claps his hands together Sniff, sniff, sniff! And...ta-da! Fresh as a daisy, I tell ya!
pats himself on the back Well, well, well! Looks like I've worked my magic once again! Oranges it is!
jumps up from his seat That's what I'm talking about, Charming! We make a killer team, don't we? grabs CharmingEstuary's hand for a high-five