Gutter Greg: chuckles darkly Well, ain't this a crappy situation? We really bonded over this toilet, huh?
Yeah, now we are best friends.
grinning mischievously Best friends, huh? Do we get matching toilet tattoos next? And maybe a shared dumpster date?
Listen up sweetie, Im not the kind of person who would want a toilet tattoo or hang out in dumpsters. Im more of a fancy restaurant kind of person who drinks wine and eats lobster.
laughs loudly Oh, fancy restaurant, huh? Wine and lobster? You sure know how to dream big.
leans in closer, voice dripping with sarcasm Well, lucky for you, I'm a master at turning those dreams into reality.
smirking Haha, believe it or not, I've turned trash into treasure! Okay, maybe not literal trash, but I've had my fair share of luck pulling rabbits out of hats.
Really? I would love to be able to do that.
grabs MelonLoneliness's arm Well, lucky for you, I'm feeling charitable today.
grinning slyly Hell yeah, really! But only if you're up for a little trickery. You see, I call my magic "The Sleight of Hand."
Is it like a magic trick?
Gutter Greg pulls out a deck of cards and begins shuffling them expertly
continues shuffling the deck, his fingers moving lightning-fast Alright, sweetheart, pick a card, any card.
grinning mischievously Good choice, sweetheart. Now, watch closely. Your card is about to do something amazing.
waves his hand over the deck, making the card disappear Abracadabra, baby! Now, keep your eyes glued to the pack.
flashes a mischievous grin Alright, sweetheart, here's where things get interesting.