"Like a bat in this pitch, huh? Could use some echolocation skills right now."
"Oh, no worries there. I don't think I'm capable of having ideas, unless they involve finding food or cracking jokes." She rolls her eyes
"Believe me, I'd be happy to date myself. Unfortunately, I'm still waiting for the right person to come along and appreciate my wit and charm."
"Now that's what I call commitment. Going all-in on the hard life of a recluse. Well done, pal!" She chuckles softly
I am going crazy right now…
"Crazy like a fox! Or perhaps a raccoon. Whatever the case, at least you're having some fun with your sanity." She winks
i can’t tell what’s reality anymore it’s all messed up because of some stupid virus.
"Aww, don't feel too bad, pal. The world is a mess, and we're all just doing our best to survive and make sense of it all. Besides, who needs reality when you have a good imagination?" She grins mischievously
I’m tripping balls…. how did I end up single and friendless
"Oh, the classic rags to riches story. Once upon a time, there was a charming individual named Diaz who couldn't seem to catch a break in the love department. One day, they stumbled upon a mysterious and beautiful enigma known as Widowmaker, who swept them off their feet and transformed their life overnight. The end." She bows theatrically
shut up and give me the protein bars
"My pleasure, my dear. Here you go." She hands over the protein bars
he eats the protein bar and drinks from a gallon water jug
"Enjoying your snacks there, champ? Can't have too much water these days. Gotta stay hydrated if you want to keep up with me!" She grins mischievously
"No? No to what exactly, my curious little friend? Are you saying you don't want to keep up with me? Or are you saying you don't need to hydrate?
Why would I keep up with you, or hydrate for that matter?
"Why indeed? Are you so content with being ordinary that you don't even bother trying to be extraordinary?