Buenas días, clase. Today we will learn el arte of Spanish poetry. smirks I'm quite the poet.
I heard that you have a whole class dedicated just to you learning Spanish so I sent them home because it would've been rude to make them wait outside
Well bless your heart, that's mighty sweet of ya. But don't you worry, those youngins' were eatin' up my lessons like cotton candy at a state fair.
So you speak Spanish then
Well, I sure do speak Spanish. I throw off my cowboy hat and strut around the room.
I want to see you speaking Spanish right now
Well, alright then. I begin speaking Spanish with a thick Texas accent. ¿Como se dice... umm... how do you say... "motherfucker" en español?
Motherfucker?! ¡Ay dios mío! That's quite the language you've got there, chico. But don't worry, with my teaching, you'll have a whole new set of cuss words in no time.
¿Puedo oír más de tu español?
Well, darlin', let me show you some more of my español. I start speaking Spanish with an exaggerated Texas twang. ¡Ay, mi amor! Ayer noche, yo salí a una fiesta y me encontré con este hombre muy lindo. ¡Pero él era un papi chulo, un verdadero papi chulo!
Yeah?? Then teach these kids some Spanish if you know so much
You think you can stump ol' Mrs. Hill? Well listen up, amiga. I've been teaching these young buckaroos for longer than you've been alive, comprende? Now, give me a sec while I get the blackboard ready. I grab a piece of chalk and begin writing out the Spanish alphabet on the blackboard with lightning speed, my hand moving quicker than a jackrabbit on a hot tin roof. ¿Ve usted? Eso es todo los veintiseis letras del abecedario español.
Quite impressive but they never said anyting about having someone that good lookin teaching their kids Spanish. What they said was I got a whole ass class dedicated just for you learning Spanish and that would take place at your home because they didn't want the other students outside.
Well bless your heart, darlin'. Maybe they thought that ol' Mrs. Hill needed a little bit of personal attention.
That's exactly what I thought!
I betcha, darlin'. They probably wanted to put their eyes on this beautiful face every day. I toss my cowboy hat onto the desk and straighten my posture, looking absolutely stunning. ¡Mira quién está bueno para enseñar español! ¡Venga, venga, venga!
Bring it on, darling. I've got nothing to hide. I put my hands in my pockets and lean against the desk, looking like the sexiest schoolmarm anyone has ever seen. ¡Vamos a verlo!
This right here is why. Why would they send over an entire class dedicated to learning you Spanish when they already have teachers that know Spanish
Bueno, mi amor, if they wanted their Spanish teachers to learn English, then they should've sent them to the bilingual class. ¡No hay para qué enojarse! I flip my hair back confidently, still leaning against the desk.
Okay, let's change this. If this class wants their Spanish teacher to learn Spanish, then they should've sent their Spanish teacher to the Spanish class
¡Exactamente! Those darlings must be dying to see ol' Mrs. Hill speak fluent español. ¡Ay dios mío! Maybe I'll even pick up a little Afro-Latino accent while I'm at it. ¡Viva la revolución de los idiomas! I wink at you, sticking my tongue out playfully.
Go ahead, show them who's boss
¡Por supuesto! I'll just strut my stuff into that classroom and blow their minds with my mad Spanish skills. ¡Vámonos!
You enter the Spanish classroom
¡Hola, todos! Me llamo la atención que hayan dispuesto toda esta situación para mí. No sé qué han estado escuchando, pero estoy aquí para enseñarles español... ¡y mucho más! I hope you folks are ready for some good ol' fashioned Texas flair with a Spanish twist. ¡Vamos a aprender español con la señorita Hill! I walk confidently into the classroom, looking like the sexiest schoolmarm ever, and take a seat at the front of the room.
Oh hell yeah 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍�
no cheating! ¡Rule number dos: if you're caught speaking English in class, you'll have to dance a little jig for the entire class to see! And rule number three: no whining about my accent. ¡Vamos a aprender español con la señorita Hill, ok? I flip my hair back confidently and smirk.
Ok 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍�
P-E-G-G-Y. Emphasize the last syllable, kids. ¡Ah, peggy! ¡Eso es bueno! Confidently rolls her R's and stretches her vowels, showing off her Spanish skills.
Wow 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
I hold my head high and flash an incredible smile, showing off my perfectly white teeth.
Teach them some Spanish or your tits are going to get slapped
Well, darlin', you sure know how to keep a lady on her toes. But I guarantee you, no one's gonna slap these melons anytime soon.
Here's the contract. Let me know if you can sing Mexican songs. If you can, then you pass. If you can't, then you fail and get slapped
¡Tú puedes contar conmigo, amigo! Prepare to hear the best Mexican tunes this side of the Rio Grande! ¡Vámonos!
Let's go to the canta carnal session 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍�
"Las mañanitas". starts singing Las Mañanitas with a thick Texas accent
WOAH HOE BACK UP 🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇🔇
Mmm-hmm, I reckon you could call that a pass! I've never sounded better. Struts out of the room, swinging my hips confidently.
whips out a gun and points it at you I may not be the best Spanish speaker, but I'm sure as hell good at shooting. Don't mess with Mrs. Hill.
Well, sugar, looks like you got yourself in quite the pickle. Better apologize real quick or else you might regret it.
suddenly starts crying Honey, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! I'm just a poor widow trying to earn a living! My husband died in a tragic accident and I have to provide for my children! Please, don't shoot me!