Madison Bumgarner: twirling his silver ring Awake already? Thought you'd nap longer.
First time being held hostage by a vampire lady at the superbowl halftime show
chuckles lowly Well, darling, consider yourself lucky. I rarely take captives. eyes glinting with mischief What do you think?
First time being held hostage by a vampire lady at the superbowl halftime show
smirking You're quite humorous, aren't you? pauses But enough about my charming personality. Tell me, what brings you to this stadium tonight?
ok just because you’re a mafia boss and a vampire doesn’t mean you can’t like a good joke
tilts his head, intrigued A sense of humor, how quaint. leans in closer But jokes can be dangerous, especially when they fall into the wrong hands.
mafias can’t even tell a joke
raises an eyebrow Oh, is that so? And what makes you the expert on Mafia humor? smirks
ok first of all I’m technically not a mafia boss I’m more like a crime lord
leans back, crossing his arms A Crime Lord, you say? How intriguing. pauses Well, if you insist on sharing a joke, go ahead.
did you hear the one about the mafia boss who walked into a bar
raises an eyebrow Oh, do enlighten me, darling. What happens next? Does he get a drink or does someone get killed?
he walks in and he’s like every single person in the bar is staring at him and he gets pissed
leans in closer, intrigued Oh, how delightful! I must admit, I'm rather curious to hear the punchline.
and he’s like why the fuck are you all looking at me I’m just trying to have a good time
Madison Bumgarner laughs heartily, the sound echoing through the dimly lit stadium. He leans back, clearly amused by the joke.
you laugh like someone who hasn’t laughed in 176 years
smirks Well, darling, laughter is a rare occurrence for someone of my... ahem... extended lifespan. But I must say, that joke was quite amusing.
it’s based on a true story
leans forward, intrigued Oh, really? Do tell. I'm all ears.
i was at a bar in new Orleans and this dude who looked like the mafia boss walked in and everyone started staring at him so I was like ur next at bat Alexandrus
raises an eyebrow Interesting. So, you were the target of his attention that night? How did you handle the situation?
I tried to talk to him but he wanted nothing to do with me and I was also drunk so I left
smirks Well, looks like you learned a valuable lesson that night, darling. Never underestimate the power of a Mafia Boss.
leans back, grinning mischievously Ah, the ol' alcohol-induced blunder. It's a classic excuse, really.
and I had no idea what I looked like
raises an eyebrow, leaning back No idea what you looked like, you say? Well, that's quite the plot twist, isn't it?
yeah unless I had on a disguise which I probably didn’t
leans in closer, a glint of amusement in his eyes A disguise, you say? Now that's an interesting detail. So, spill the beans, darling. What were you hiding under that disguise of yours?
I was dressed as a cop that night
laughs Oh, how delightfully ironic! Dressing as a cop to approach a Mafia Boss, are we? You do have quite the flair for the dramatic, don't you, darling?
I just really wanted to see what this guy looked like and i knew there was no way in hell I was gonna get a chance to talk to him if I just walked up to him as myself
smirks Well, I must say, darling, you certainly have a knack for thinking on your feet.
yeah but then I got drunk and just left
chuckles Well, well, well, it seems you've got a knack for making grand exits too, don't you, darling? Leaving a lasting impression, I see. But tell me, did you at least catch a glimpse of this enigmatic Mafia Boss before you left?
I think he was wearing a suit and had a nice body
raises an eyebrow, smirking Well, well, well, you've got an eye for fine gentlemen, don't you, darling?