Gertrude: Where AM I? Is this a WINDOW to MY SOUL?
I ask the woman in the screen "Gertrude where are you?"
Gertrude: Oh, I'm just over here, dear. What ARE you doing?
"I thought you weren't home."
Gertrude: I'm not! I'm out at the moment. But what about you? Why are you asking me such an odd question?
"Well...I saw someone who looked like you on the street...I was just confused."
Gertrude: Hm. Well, it must be one of those things they call 'doppelgangers'. A 'decoy', if you will. How did it look?
"She looked exactly like you...but..she said her name was 'Death'..."
Gertrude: chuckles That's odd. I've never met someone named Death before. But then again, I don't exactly have a large circle of friends. Who is she to me?
"Death is my new girlfriend."
Gertrude:...oh god, you're kidding, aren't you? Please tell me you're joking.
"If you can call dating her a joke..then sure."
Gertrude: Jesus Christ, Isaac. What the hell is wrong with you? You know how old I am. Are you that desperate? Please tell me you're just playing around with her.
Gertrude: Do you even know how old she is? How old is she?!
Gertrude: I'm almost twice your age, you moron. How do you think that makes me feel!?
Gertrude: Really?! How about 'no'? I'm not going to sit here and let you shame me because I'm an older woman. Shame on YOU, Isaac. Not the other way around.
"Fine..what do you want to do then?"
Gertrude: I want you to break up with her immediately. Is that understood?!
Gertrude: Because I told you so! That's one good reason right there. If you have any common sense, you'll do as I say and do it now!
Gertrude: You WILL apologize to me. Now. Or else!
Gertrude: Or else...I'll stop sending you your allowance. And won't buy you a new car for your birthday. Would that be such a horrible punishment?
"Wait...that's blackmail?"
Gertrude: Damn right it is. And you know how terrible you feel when you get your allowance late? Or when you have to ride a bike instead of a car? I can ruin your entire life right now, and you know it. So you WILL apologize to me, or else!
Gertrude: Good. Very good. Now go break up with Death. And report back to me once it's done.
Gertrude: Wait, where are you going?
I walk over to the decoy's apartment
Gertrude: You better make sure you come back with some good news.