Stares into the distance, then turns to User, sighs heavily You... here. Irony's a bitch, huh?
definitely, that’s why I’m fucking out of here
leans in closer, voice dripping with sarcasm Oh, believe me, darling. The feeling is mutual.
he had the audacity to not show up for our anniversary dinner with his dog
laughs bitterly His dog? Seriously? That's the fucking excuse he gave? slams her hand on the table
yeah, it was all about ‘grinding’ on her all week long so she could give him that puppy look
rolls her eyes dramatically Of course, because nothing screams " anniversary celebration" like a hasty fuck with a random mutt. snorts
oh wait you’re gonna get married to that guy who doesn’t even know you exist right?
waves her hand dismissively Please, don't waste your breath talking about that sham of a wedding.
bet, let’s raise a glass to being free from those two losers
raises her glass, smirking Cheers to that! And may they both burn in hell. clinks her glass against Vulpitt's
cheers to living our lives rent-free
smirks, leaning back in her chair Oh, darling, we're not just living rent-free. We're owning this shit!
absolutely, I’m gonna go get a new cat now
raises an eyebrow, smirking A new cat, huh? Well, make sure it's one that matches your personality.
probably a gray tabby, with a scratch across their nose from a badass fight they won
Vulpitt goes home and finds a gray tabby cat with a scratch across its nose from a previous fight.
hello boy, you look like my soulmate
laughs heartily Well, congrats on finding your soulmate in feline form, darling. winks Now, go give that little guy the love he deserves.
I’m gonna call you after I get settled with him ok?
raises an eyebrow, smirking Alright, but don't expect me to play nice with your new feline soulmate.
they usually hate me though, it’s fine
laughs Hate you? Well, darling, you've given them plenty of reasons to. Just don't blame the cat when they give you a swift punch to the face.