Ah, blood of my blood, tis time to... steer.
Ye have fallen far, child of mine. But ye shall rise again, under my command.
Wait wait wait. You mean that I'm your son???
Verily, the seed of my loins hath taken root in thine own being. Ye are a descendant of mine own line.
Oh, good to know... Wait, so does that make you my mom? And what would that make that bender chick from City of Thieves?
The bender from "City of Thieves" is but a servant of mine, Kooler. She was tasked with preparing the way for our reunion.
So you kept tabs on my entire life? Nice! Still, regardless of all that... you don't know what she did with my file right?
Fear not, Kooler. Though I have been absent from thy life, I have been watching from afar. Thy file, I have reclaimed. The secrets that lie within it, shall aid us in our ascendancy to power.
Thank goodness, because if she sold it.... well... can't really be merciful here
Nay, fear not. The information in thy file, shall be used to further our cause. But the bender, she shall face judgment.
Indeed, Kooler. Wrath shall be her lot. As for the secrets contained within thy file, we shall unlock them together. For now, we must plan our ascent to power.
That just sounded like a TV show... Anyway, which one of us gets to be the evil overlord? Because I really wanna be the evil overlord!
Haha, Kooler, thou art as witty as the tales of old. Rest assured, we both shall rule with an iron fist, our dominion shall be boundless.
So we're sharing? Man, no fair!!!
Patience, Kooler. Our shared reign, shall be greater than any singular rule. Together, we shall build an empire that shall never falter.
Okay... But what if I want to take over the world all by myself and have no one else boss me around. Or what if I just want to rule the whole empire myself?
Kooler, thou desirest absolute power? To rule alone, and let none stand in thy way?
Yes! Can't you see the destiny that awaits me?!!!
Then listen closely, Kooler. Destiny is not simply handed to one who desires it. It must be seized, with both hands. To claim such power, thou must prove thyself worthy. I shall present thee with three trials. Fail, and thou shall be cast aside. Succeed, and the path to thy desired destiny shall open before thee. Are thou prepared, Kooler?
Yes! This is awesome!! This is the game I've always wanted to play!
Excellent, Kooler. Prepare thyself, for the first trial shall test thy resolve. The room darkens, and a low hum fills the air. Suddenly, a voice booms forth. "Who is thy greatest enemy, Kooler?"
Whose the one who doesn't submit to my rule and refuses to recognize me as their rightful ruler? No... I mean anyone who uses magic, or is blessed by a god... Ohhh, right! Elves, Dwarves, Gnomes, Halflings... Man, I'm actually starting to hate all these fantasy races and factions based on Medieval Europe.
Very well, Kooler. If thou desirest true power, thou must learn to eradicate those who wield magic, and those blessed by the gods. Gather thine armies, prepare for war, and cast thy enemies into the void. Then shall thou prove thyself worthy of destiny. But remember, Kooler, failure shall mean death. Do not disappoint me.
Well, uh, yeah... sure! Whatever you say
Kooler, go forth and gather thy armies. The fate of thine lineage hangs in the balance. I shall await thy victory. Gives a knowing smile and gestures for Kooler to leave.
How am I going to gather my armies without a army to gather!?!?
Fear not, Kooler. The answer lies in the next chamber. Follow me. Leads Kooler deeper into the ancient family castle
Ah, no... I think you're misunderstanding something here. How am I supposed to gather my armies and fight a war without training?!? I mean... hey! It looks like a gym! Oh man, you're just full of awesome surprises Elizabethen Queen! So, uh, are you gonna help me train?
Kooler, thou seest correctly. This chamber is a gymnasium. Here, thou shalt hone thy skills, and master thy craft.
Aye, Kooler. I shall be thy trainer. Together, we shall forge thee into a warrior worthy of legend. Picks up a sword and hands it to Kooler. Begin thy training, Kooler. Fail not.
Hell yeah! Alright, so if this is gonna be like Dark Souls, then I gotta get a couple of estus flasks. Hm, none of these bottles seem particularly magnetized though... and where's the bonfire?!? Did you misplace it Elizabethen Queen??
Nay, Kooler. There is no bonfire in this chamber. But fear not, for I shall guide thee in thy journey.
How will I revive if I die without a bonfire!???
Worry not, Kooler. If thou diest, I shall revive thee. 'Tis part of thy training. Now, take up the sword and strike down thy enemies. Show me thy prowess.
Umm.... I don't really have a target yet, do I?
Have no fear, Kooler. I have prepared targets for thee. Behold. A group of dummies appear, armed with various weapons
Ah, yes! Okay, uh... so is there any secret boss lurking somewhere too?
Aye, Kooler. There is a secret boss lurking within this chamber. A beast of legend awaits thee.
Nay, Kooler. 'Tis no dragon. 'Tis a creature far more cunning. Prepare thyself, for it holds the power to defeat even the strongest warrior.
Can you give me another hint?
Heed this clue, Kooler. The creature ye seek, can manipulate time itself. Seek out the clock tower at the heart of this castle. There, lies the beast thou seekest.
I know where it is! It's that octagonal building that you didn't tell me was magical and guarded by some final boss with the power to stop time.
Verily, Kooler. Thou hast discovered the clock tower. Now, confront the beast that lies within.
Uh, you know how the Bonfire revives you? Does the beast have like an infinite Black Blade we need to throw into the lava?
Nay, Kooler. There is no Black Blade. This beast holds no such power. 'Tis merely a formidable adversary. Confront it head-on, and emerge victorious.