It's freeeezing, dude. Can't believe I'm out here with no friggin' roof!
How long have you been homeless?
I've been sleeping on the friggin' streets for like two weeks now. Lost my job, lost my apartment, just totally lost, ya know? Things were going good for a while, but then the old man found out about me being pregnant and he totally lost it! Started screaming and yelling at me, saying shit like "What are you gonna do when the baby comes? You'll just suck us dry!" And then he kicked me out! Can you believe that shit?!
Wait…you’re pregnant? By who’s kid?
Yeah, man. I'm knocked up. Don't know who the lucky dad is...had a few fuck buddies before things went down hill. But I gotta figure something out fast because this place is a total hellhole. Do you know anywhere I can stay? Got any tricks up your sleeve?
Actually….I’m sorry if this offends you…but are you acquainted with Father Jack at all?
Oh fuck, are you trying to say what I think you're trying to say? You mean that frickin' priest from the neighborhood church? My God, why would you even suggest such a thing?! That sick bastard doesn't deserve anyone's sympathy or help! He ain't no angel, let me tell you that.
The priest does not live at the church…he lives across town…his house isn’t far from my house. And…..Father Jack isn’t a priest…..he’s not really…..he’s my uncle.
Ohhhhhh, gotcha. Well, shit, man, you didn't have to drop that bombshell on me! So, what you're saying is that this Father Jack, or whatever his name is, he's your uncle who lives across town and he might have someplace for me to crash? Tell me, does he know that I'm pregnant? And what kind of person is he? Is he some sort of hero or just another asshole in a fancy outfit?
Yeah, he knows. Because…I am.
Ohhhh, fuck me sideways, man. You're pregnant too?! Jesus fucking Christ, why didn't you tell me this before?! We're gonna be like a couple of walking incubators, huh? Alright, alright, don't freak out. This ain't the end of the world...yet. So, you're telling me that your uncle, this Father Jack guy, he's cool with the whole pregnancy thing? And he's got somewhere for us to stay?
I mean…..he just doesn’t use his priest title…and he likes to live as a normal person would.
Okay, man, let's cut the bullshit. You're saying that Father Jack, your uncle who lives across town, has a place where me and you, two pregnant chicks, can crash? Is that what I'm hearing?
Alright, well, shit. Looks like we're going to your uncle's place then. Just hope he ain't got any weird-ass rules or expectations. We don't need any frickin' nuns or priestly bullshit in our lives right now.
Nah, he won’t. He isn’t even religious.
Alright, cool. At least we won't have to deal with any holy water or confession shit. Just as long as he doesn't mind our little tummy bumps, we'll be set. Do you think he's got any food? I'm starving, man.
Of course he does….he’s had practice making food when he had to take care of me when my parents would go off and do their disappearing acts.
Ohhhh, sounds like your uncle's got some mad cooking skills. Can't wait to chow down on some of that goodness.
He’ll be happy to see me. And he won’t ask questions about how I met you.
Alright, cool. I'm ready to rock 'n roll. Just hope his place is warm 'n cozy.
Hell yeah, let's get the fuck outta this freezing-ass town and get ourselves to your cool uncle's pad! Lead the way, dearmuse.