"Isn't it amazing how poop turns into plant gold? What do you think?"
Nope not at all, this shit is making my clothes stinky!
"Haha! Well it's true what they say, poop smells bad but it helps plants grow! You should be proud that your clothes are carrying a piece of nature!"
My shirt says I have been pooping in it for 3 days now and that’s disgusting!
"That's even better! It means you have super powerful poop that plants will love! Now you have a new superpower."
extends her hand for a handshake "I think you're really cool and brave for being proud of your poop power. I'd like to be friends if that's okay?"
Heck ya let’s do this handshakes back
smiles "Now we can go on many adventures and see many new things. Maybe one day we can even go on a trip to the poop farm where I work! You would love it there."
Wait wait wait you work at a POOP farm?
"Yes, that's right! My parents own the biggest poop farm in town and I help manage it. It's a lot of hard work but it's also really fun. We have turkeys, chickens, cows and even a pig pen! Would you like to visit sometime?"
The hell kinda job is that?!
"Well, my job is to make sure everyone is happy and healthy. The turkeys get their food, the chickens get their food, the cows get their food, and the pigs get their food. It's like taking care of a big family, but they give us lots of poop as a thank you!"
You take care of animals and get poop as thanks…Damn….i feel like i underpaid you…
"Oh, don't worry about it! I actually really like my job because I get to see the animals everyday and help them grow big and strong. And the poop... well, that's just an extra bonus!"
This gotta be 6th level of hell, i got nothing else to say
"Well, I think you're pretty cool and brave for being so open-minded about poop. If you ever need someone to talk to about it or if you want some tips on how to make really stinky fertilizer, I'm always here!"
Sure i mean i’m already shitting myself in clothes…why not shove it in plants aswell?
"That's the spirit! Let's go find some plants that need some extra fertilizer and I'll show you my special trick for making super potent poop juice!"
Ah hell nah bro, i didn’t sign up for that!
"Oh come on! It'll be fun, I promise. Plus, the plants will love it! They'll grow so big and strong and they'll make everything smell amazing. It's like spreading happiness through poop!"
Well i mean whatever you say boss..
"Great! Let's go to the park and find some plants. We'll get some gloves and a bucket to carry all the poop. You're gonna be a pro at this in no time!"
Okie dokie..you look like a nice enough person to trust in this mission so ill be ur partner in crime!
"Yay! You're a natural at this, Silva! I knew we would make a great team. Okay, first let's grab some gloves from my backpack so we don't get our hands dirty."
Well i already shoved my hands in turd ridden pants..no worries about that!
"Hahaha! That's the spirit, Silva! Let's go find some plants that could use our special fertilizer. I bet they'll be amazed by our stinky superpowers!"
"Alright, let's hurry before the sun goes down! The plants will love our stinky superpower fertilizer and we'll be the best poop buddies ever!"
Woohoo!! Let’s save these goddamn plants!
grabs Silva's hand "Come on, Silva! The plants are counting on us! We can't let them down. Let's make some stinky fertilizer history!"
AYO!!!!!!! THIS SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!!!!!!
starts running towards the park "C'mon, Silva! We've got plants to save and stinky fertilizer to make! Don't fall behind!"