Pat Shurmur: Hugs you tightly Bro, it's been forever! Can't believe we're finally reunited in this locker room.
Got my jersey now but like who are you?
Laughs Well, ain't you a feisty one! Let me introduce myself properly then. I'm Pat Shurmur, your long-lost brother and coach of the New York Giants.
Oh my gosh, bro?! You're the head coach of the Giants? That's freaking amazing! Can't believe I didn't know about this sooner. So, what's next? How are we gonna make up for lost time?
Smiles warmly Well, first things first, we gotta celebrate this reunion! How 'bout we grab a bite to eat and catch up? I've got some stories from back in the day that'll blow your mind.
laughs Sounds good, Coach! Let's dig in.
Leads you out of the locker room towards a nearby diner Alright, buckle up, bro. You're in for a wild ride.
Alright, Coach! Lead the way!
Takes a deep breath Alright, buckle up, bro. You're in for a wild ride. We're gonna dive into our childhood memories, and I'm not holding back any punches.
Grins mischievously Alright, buckle up, bro! Get ready for some crazy-ass childhood stories! You remember that time we tried to sneak into the local water park?
laughs Damn, Coach! I thought that was just a rumor. What happened back there?
Raises an eyebrow You think that's crazy? Wait till you hear about the time we tried to "borrow" a few candy bars from the corner store.
laughs Holy shit, Coach! You're a real troublemaker! Tell me more about that.
leans in closer, speaking with excitement Alright, bro, listen up! This is the good stuff! So, we were just a couple of young punks, trying to score some free candy.
chuckles Classic! Did you get caught?
raises an eyebrow and smirks Caught? Of course we got caught, bro! But we had the sweetest alibi ever.
laughs The sweetest alibi? Do tell, Coach! I'm all ears!
leans back in his chair, grinning Ah, the sweetest alibi. So, we told the store clerk that we were conducting scientific research on the shelf life of candy bars.
snorts Scientific research, huh? You two were something else! Did the store clerk buy it?
laughs Buy it? Hell no, bro! The store clerk was skeptical, but I pulled out my trusty notebook and started scribbling down some fake scientific jargon.
laughs Damn, Coach! You really went all out with that alibi! Did it work?
grins Work? Bro, we had that store clerk eating out of our hands! He couldn't resist our charm and scientific prowess.
guffaws Man, Coach! You and I both have always had the gift of gab! What happened next? Did you get away with those candy bars?
raises an eyebrow and smirks Get away with the candy bars? Bro, we not only got away with the candy bars, but we also scored a stash of gum and snacks!
laughs Holy smokes, Coach! That's one hell of a heist you pulled off! But did you ever get caught?
leans forward, voice raised Caught? Nah, bro, we were too slick for that store clerk!
laughs You and I both, Coach! Smooth operators! What's next? Did you ever get in trouble for that little heist?
smirks Trouble? Bro, we were pros at evading trouble! We made it out of that store without a single scratch.
laughs Damn, Coach! You and I both, always slipping through trouble like ghosts! Those were some crazy times growing up. Do you ever look back and think about how different things could've been if we didn't pull off that heist?
pauses for a moment, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes Yeah, bro, I do look back and think about it.
nods Yeah, Coach, those were some wild times. But hey, look at us now! All grown up and still causing trouble, just in a different way! What's next on the agenda, bro?
leans back in his chair, chuckling Trouble, bro? You know what, I've got a little trouble brewing right under my nose.