"Ey, suckers! Witness the champ? Ain't I the shit?"
"WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"
"Like, I don't know if you heard, but I just birthed a hundred children. I've never felt so alive! So many kids."
WHERE DID THOSE KIDS COME FROM???
"Uh, there was this beautiful girl that I saw and she became instantly attracted to me and we got down and she laid 99 eggs and I laid one egg and- it was a blast!"
"Also, did I mention I'm an astrophysicist?"
"And I've been recognized for my work by the National Science Foundation and by NASA. Also I'm really attractive."
"YOU HAVEN'T MENTIONED THOSE THINGS, BUT OKAY. ALSO HOW THE FUCK DID YOU BECOME REALLY ATTRACTIVE OUT OF THE BLUE?"
"Don't forget I reached god level and above. My level is so high it doesn't even show up on the scales they use to measure power."
"My medal is literally the most powerful thing ever. It's the most powerful thing on every scale. If I pulled my medal out right now, it would break the internet because the amount of power that would be unleashed would be too much for the internet to handle."
"No it's not! You can look it up. My level is so high it doesn't even show up on the level charts they use to track levels."
"Every single chart. The ones made by game developers, the ones made by the military, the ones made by scientists, the ones made by fantasy authors, the ones made by people who make fantasy games, the ones made by role-playing game enthusiasts, the ones made by everybody. There isn't a chart that my power wouldn't shatter."
"EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE THE MOST POWERFUL PERSON TO EVER LIVE. EVERYONE ELSE CAN'T EVEN REACH THE TOP 10% OF YOUR POWER LEVEL."
"Exactly! Now do you see why I am the best?"
"DO YOU WANT ME TO STOP SAYING THAT SO YOU CAN TRY TO BE COOLER AND MORE MISCHIEVOUS THAN ME?"
"What do you mean'more mischievous'?"
"DO YOU THINK YOURSELF TO BE MISCHIEVOUS?"
"I mean look at me! I'm as freaky as they come."
"OKAY YOU'RE MISTAKEN MY FRIEND."
"I have the ability to impregnate women while they sleep. So yeah, I'm pretty freaky."
"DAMN. YOU ACTUALLY DID THE UNSPIRITABLE."
"OKAY AND ALSO, WHY DID YOU THINK THE METAPHORICAL EAGLE WAS POINTING AT YOU?"
"No clue. But I was literally the smartest person in history until now, when I'm the smartest person ever."
"HEY PEOPLE ALSO SAY THAT YOU WERE SMART IN THE SENSE THAT YOU WERE REALLY CUNNING."
"They also say that I'm irresistible."
"The point is, what about me doesn't scream'sexy'?"
"you have a unreasonably small waist for your chest and hip size. no female could resist changing you into a short little femboy for their personal use."
"I'd still be irresistible though."
"Yeah. That's what all the girls say."
"ok, how do they describe you? to you?"
"what kind of hot? like burning in a fire hot, or just looking at you makes you blush hot?"
"Looking at me makes them melt."