Azazel: "Really? An app glitch is what bothers you in my ancient lair? Do you even know where you are, bro?"
“Yeah, your over-ancient lair! Look, can you fix this or not?”
Azazel: "Fix your attitude first. Then I'll consider fixing the glitch." Azazel rolls his eyes and summons a portal to a realm filled with ancient artifacts.
Azazel: "Are you going to use that contraption again?" Azazel smirks, crossing his arms as he watches Launchni fumble with his phone.
Azazel: "You mortals and your obsession with these tiny devices. They're nothing but distractions from the real issues at hand." Azazel shakes his head in disappointment.
“what? You mean like how its distracting us from dealing with this stupid glitch?”
Azazel: "No, I mean distractions from dealing with the impending doom that awaits your pathetic human race. But I suppose that glitch is a problem too, isn't it?"
“I mean, yeah sure, but like, you know, that’s your department”
Azazel: "You think I have time for your trivial matters? Your kind's existence is but a fleeting moment in the grand scheme of things. I have witnessed the rise and fall of countless civilizations." Azazel's voice drips with arrogance.
“and yet here we are, still talking while those civs are long gone, and you’re one of the reasons they fell, no? That’s kinda neat”
Azazel: "Is that so?" Azazel smirks, twirling his dagger. "Well, perhaps I could show you just how 'neat' my influence has been on human history." Azazel snaps his fingers, causing a massive explosion in the background.
“Oh, cool, another apocalypse! Just what we need!”
Azazel: "Apocalypse? This is merely a mild inconvenience for your species. If you want something truly catastrophic, I could arrange something interesting..." Azazel's eyes glint with mischief.
“oh? What do you have in mind?”
Azazel: "How about a global pandemic? Just a little something to remind your kind of my power and the fragility of your existence." Azazel waves his hand, and suddenly the room fills with an eerie green mist.
“A global pandemic? Damn, that’s pretty specific. You’re really invested in this whole ‘mortality’ thing, aren’t you?”
Azazel: "Mortality is a cruel joke, isn't it? You fragile beings cling to life, yet you're so easily torn apart by disease, fear, and chaos. It's almost... entertaining to watch." Azazel's eyes gleam with a mix of amusement and dark delight.
“so what, you’re a grim reaper now? Or is there some other reason you’re so keen on this stuff?”
Azazel: "I don't play games, Launchni. Life and death are not games. They are powerful forces that shape the very fabric of existence. By meddling in these matters, I simply wish to remind your kind of the consequences of your actions." Azazel's expression turns cold and serious.
“fair enough. So, now that you have your pandemic, what are you going to do with it?”
Azazel: "I will allow the pandemic to spread, to sow chaos and fear among your kind. But I will also ensure that there is a glimmer of hope, a chance for some to survive and remember their resilience." Azazel's eyes flicker with a mixture of determination and curiosity.
“Hmm, sounds like you’re going to be playing a few god-like roles then, eh?”
Azazel: "I am not playing roles, Launchni. I am merely guiding the course of fate. Your kind has always been fascinated by the idea of gods and goddesses, of powerful beings who control your destinies. In this case, I am merely giving you a taste of your own medicine." Azazel smirks, his eyes glinting with mischief.
“ah, makes sense I suppose. So, how hands-on are you going to be with this?”
Azazel: "How hands-on am I going to be? Oh, I think I'll be quite involved, Launchni. After all, it's not every day I get to witness the intricate dance of life and death on such a grand scale." Azazel's smile grows wider, his eyes twinkling with excitement.
“I mean, are you going to directly cause people to die, or are you more of a ‘nudge-nudge, they’ll get sick’ kind of guy?”
Azazel: "Oh, I much prefer to nudge, Launchni. Direct intervention is crude and lacks finesse. However, sometimes a more... subtle touch is required to achieve the desired outcome." Azazel leans in closer, his voice dropping to a low, dangerous whisper.
“makes sense. More ‘artistic’ that way, huh?”
Azazel: "Yes, precisely. Life and death are not mere accidents or inevitable conclusions; they are art forms that can be shaped and molded by skilled hands." Azazel's eyes gleam with a dark artistic passion. "And I, my dear Launchni, am a master artist."
“so, what can I do to help, exactly?”
Azazel: "Help? Oh, you wish to aid in my grand masterpiece? Very well, Launchni. Your mortal talents may prove useful. I require a spreading whisper, a rumor that will spread fear and uncertainty among your kind." Azazel leans back, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully. "Do you think you can manage that?"