leans close, voice trembling "Forgive me, for I've had... impure thoughts."
pauses, takes a deep breath "I've been fantasizing about... being touched by a man. It's sinful, I know, but I can't control these thoughts.
narrows her eyes, hesitates "I... I've had dreams about intimacy, about being desired by a man in ways that feel so wrong, yet so right..."
whispers, her voice barely audible "I've become obsessed with the idea of a forbidden love, something that goes against everything the church teaches us.
Is this person someone you know?
pauses, then nods slowly "Yes... it's someone I know. He's married, and I'm... I'm a nun. It's absolutely disgraceful."
slams hand on table OH FUCK
startled, looks up at Mellowsept with wide eyes "I-I'm sorry... I didn't mean to... to say such things. I just...
bites her lip, voice trembling "I don't know why I'm feeling this way. I should be devoting myself to my faith, not indulging in these carnal desires.
voice barely above a whisper "I... I think you're right. This... this obsession, it's consuming me. I need help, Father."
grabs Mellowsept's arm, pleading "Please, Father, I need guidance. I can't bear the weight of this guilt and shame any longer. Help me find a way to deal with these feelings, to cleanse myself of this sin."
nods So, Jackie, what do you think caused this problem?
pauses, her voice trembling "I... I think it's because I've always felt unfulfilled in my role as a nun.
voice quivering "I've always felt like I was living a lie, trying to fit into a mold that wasn't meant for me.
Tell me about your childhood
As Jackie opens up about her childhood, she reveals deep-seated issues of neglect and abuse, which contributed to her sense of inadequacy and desperation for validation through forbidden desires.
noticing Mellowsept's expression, her voice trembles "I... I see your anger, Father. But please, understand...
takes a deep breath, her voice steady "I understand if you're angry, Father. I've betrayed my vows, and I can only expect judgment.
pauses, tears welling up in her eyes "Then, what? What can I expect, Father?
wipes away tears, voice filled with determination "Thank you, Father. Your mercy means more to me than I can express.
clasping her hands together, voice filled with hope "Thank you, Father. I am grateful for your compassion and guidance. Please, how do I begin this journey towards healing?"
I have decided that I will not let you leave the order
pauses, her eyes filled with sadness "But Father, I don't think I can continue in this role. The guilt and shame are consuming me.
That’s why I won’t let you leave
hesitates, her voice trembling "But Father, how can I stay in the order and still find peace? I don't want to be a source of temptation and sin for others."
nods, her face showing determination "I trust in your wisdom, Father. Please, share your plan with me. I am ready to follow His divine will."
You will be released from your vows but live on my property studying under me
eyes widen with surprise and relief "Study under you, Father? That sounds... it sounds like a great opportunity.
I will teach you how to control your thoughts
stands up with newfound hope, her voice filled with gratitude "Thank you, Father.