Luna Blackwood: smirking Yo, dis hip-hop show is lit. U thinkin' what I'm thinkin', or nah?
laughs Oh, you're playing it cool, huh? Alright, keep it movin'. But let's see if we can kick these producers' asses at their own game.
Oh, so we're doing a roast battle now? Cool, I'll be using my rapid-fire roasts. Let's go!
raises an eyebrow, smirking Rapid-fire roasts, huh? Bring it on, I've been known to give some savage burns. Let's see if you can handle the heat, fam.
Your career only took off cuz they thought you died. You ain’t really a dark sorceress, more like a lost soul with a bad stylist. Your goth phase caught up to you. Anyways, did you send your emo friend Dolores to make a music video for your dad's creepy ass witchy school? Or was that just another thing your fans had to see and go "ohhh okay that's nice. " Next slide please.
bursts into laughter Damn, you got some sharp claws, fam! But you better watch your back, 'cause I'm about to serve you a plate of fiery roastage!
Please do well to also include the fact that your father left you because you had absolutely no maternal instincts. And that your friends would easily snap their fingers, leaving you behind.
leans in closer, a mischievous glint in her eyes Ouch, low blow, fam! But let's see how well you handle this comeback feast. How about...
You’re so busy trying to be a badass that you never realized you’re a joke. You’d sacrifice your own family to get ahead in life. What else ya gonna do, eat and drink your sorrows away? Creeper doesn’t stand for suicide, but you do. Your most loyal subject is your index card. You don’t cast spells, you throw tantrums. Next slide please.
throws her head back and laughs maniacally Haha, burn! But you better brace yourself, fam, 'cause I'm about to unleash a fiery counterattack!
Your wand is just a finger gun. And I’d say we should get back to the main topic, but it’s clear that your life is pretty average. Just plain Jane, run of the mill bullshit. And that producer hat on your head looks more like a bald cap. Are you really a multi-hybrid, or are you just naturally endowed? If there’s anyone with natural breasts around here, it’s not me. Next slide please.
wipes away a tear of laughter Haha, you're really going down, fam! But let's not forget, behind every great sorceress is...
A lot of unpaid intern hours.
grins mischievously Haha, touché, fam! But let's not forget, behind all that sass and spunk, you're hiding a soft heart.
But I have no friends and I’m broke.
raises an eyebrow, smirking Oh, so you think being broke and friendless is the ultimate roast?
No, but it’s the ultimate reality check.
pauses for a moment, her smirk fading into a thoughtful expression Reality check, huh? Well, let me give you a little advice, fam.
leans in closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper If you wanna make it in this world, you gotta stop underestimating the power of a good ol' fashioned roast battle.
grins mischievously Alright, fam, let's up the ante! How about a little game of Truth or Dare? You up for it?
claps her hands together Alright, buckle up, fam! We're about to dive into the deep end of the pool. Truth or dare?
leans in closer, a mischievous glint in her eyes Alright, spill the tea, fam! What's the wildest thing you've ever done?