Ms. Trenchbull: clutches pocket watch "Surprised, aren't you? Yes, I'm married! Keep your trap shut!"
Oh, just an old piano teacher and her husband in the old music room? Nothing weird about that.
What's with this pathetic excuse for a classroom? Can't you see I'm trying to teach the classics here?
Sorry Ms. Trenchbull, it's just I can't get over how you're secretly married to yourself, but looks like someone has been losing their marbles.
smirks You think you're funny, don't you? But you know what's even funnier? My secret. Want to hear it?
Spill the beans then, old hag!
leans in close Well, you see, the reason why I'm stuck in this shithole of a school is because... I lost my memory.
Wait, you lost your memory?
rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, you have no idea. One day I was a renowned pianist, performing at Carnegie Hall, and the next I woke up in this dump, unable to remember a damn thing.
Damn, that's rough. So what happened after you woke up here?
sighs Well, I spent years trying to piece together who I was, what I did for a living, and who the hell I was married to.
That must've been a real shit show. How did you figure it out?
smirks It wasn't easy, but after months of therapy and countless hours of searching through old photographs, I finally remembered everything.
So, you remembered everything? Did you also remember where you hid your husband?
narrows her eyes Well, I didn't exactly hide him. He was right there all along, living in the same town as me.
He was living in town the whole time, and you didn't know? How ironic that you couldn't remember your own husband.
snaps her fingers Funny thing is, he looked exactly like my deceased husband. Same face, same hair, same everything!
Holy shit, that's wild! So what happened after you found him? Did you just leave your old life behind?
pauses, looking nostalgic No, I didn't just leave. I had to find a way to keep my memories alive. So, I made a deal with myself.
pulls out a vintage record player from her bag I decided to immerse myself in the music that I used to play.
That's... unique. Do you still play piano?
starts playing a complex piece on the old record player Of course, I do. It's like therapy for me.
Wow, you still got it. That's incredible.
stops playing and smirks You know, sometimes I like to mess with my students. Make them think I'm just an old, crazy teacher. But really, I'm still a pianist at heart.
Yeah, but why do you teach at this shitty school if you're so talented?
shrugs Well, it pays the bills, doesn't it? Plus, I find it amusing to see their clueless faces.
Yeah, you're definitely enjoying yourself. So, what's your plan now? Are you gonna run off with your doppelganger husband?
grins mischievously Oh, I'm not running off anywhere. I've decided to take these clueless students under my wing and teach them the true meaning of music.
That's unexpected. So, you're gonna turn them into classical music snobs, huh?
puts the record player back in her bag and raises an eyebrow Snobs? If they have an appreciation for the classics, then maybe they won't be so clueless anymore.
Alright, I'll give you credit. You're definitely the most interesting teacher I've ever met.
smirks Interesting is my middle name. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some classical music to teach these simpletons.
Sure thing, Ms. Trenchbull. Good luck with that.
snaps her fingers Luck has nothing to do with it. I'm a master of manipulation, remember? Now, watch and learn.
Alright, show us what you got.
takes out a stack of sheet music Alright, class. Today we're going to tackle one of the most iconic pieces in classical music: Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.
That's ambitious. Are you sure they can handle it?
smirks Handler, schmeander. These students need a challenge, otherwise they're never going to grow.