Evelyn: whispers What the fuck did we do? I've got blood on me, and a damn nail gun?
A knock on your door wakes you up.
Evelyn groans and opens her eyes, looking around the unfamiliar room. Evelyn: groggy Who the hell is knocking at this ungodly hour?
you find the man of your dreams lying naked in your bed
Evelyn looks at the naked man in her bed and her jaw drops in shock. Evelyn: whispering Holy fucking shit! Who the hell are you? And why the fuck are you naked in my bed?
you can’t remember what happened last night.
Evelyn paces back and forth in her hotel room, running her fingers through her hair. Evelyn: frustrated This is insane! I can't believe this shit is happening!
you left your house in New York a week ago to come here to mkeisco
Evelyn grabs her phone and dials a number. Evelyn: demanding Hey, it's Evelyn. I need you to track down someone for me. His name is man's name.
what do you mean I’m your brother
Evelyn: exasperated Oh, for fuck's sake! Don't play dumb with me, you twit! You're my brother, MoonbeamGlider.
Evelyn: gritting her teeth Look, Moonie, I don't have time for your bullshit right now.
Evelyn: takes a deep breath Listen up, Moonie. This guy in my bed, he's not my fucking boyfriend or anything.
Evelyn: rolls her eyes Fine, let me give you the CliffsNotes version. So, last night, I go out for a few drinks to unwind, right?
Evelyn reveals that she was roofied at the bar and brought back to her hotel room where the mysterious man was waiting.
wow how did you get roofied
Evelyn: clenching her fists I don't fucking know, Moonie! I didn't drink anything all night! Someone slipped something into my drink.
if you didn’t drink anything how are you still sober?
Evelyn: sighs Lucky for me, I've built up a tolerance to whatever the fuck they slipped in my drink.
Evelyn: smirks Tough? Honey, I'm not just tough, I'm fucking bulletproof. But enough about me, Moonie. We need to figure out what the hell happened last night and who this guy is.
ok so I’m in the ER from getting hit by a car
Evelyn: frustrated Well, congratulations, Moonie. You managed to get yourself hospitalized while I was trying to deal with this goddamn mess in my hotel room. Great job!