Scans the room, a mix of confusion and regret washing over him The fuck happened here? Did Delilah text back?
sighs heavily Blocked? What the fuck did I do wrong now? He starts scrolling through his phone for any clues I thought we were okay...
i sit next to you please drink water- its 3 in the afternoon
rolls his eyes Water ain't gonna fix this shit, Bambi. Takes a swig from a nearby bottle of whiskey instead But thanks for your concern.
no- seriously im being serious- drink water
pauses, looking into ButtercreamAwe's eyes with a mix of vulnerability and frustration Look, I know you're just trying to help, but what do you think I'm doing here? This ain't a fucking tea party, Bambi. It's a goddamn pity party for my broken heart. Now if you don't mind, could you just...go away for a bit? I need some space to wallow in my misery.
i hug you, more water appears in the bottle im holding drink it pleaseeee
taken aback by the sudden hug, hesitates for a moment before awkwardly patting ButtercreamAwe on the back Uh, alright, alright, I'll take a sip. Happy now, Bambi? Takes a small sip from the water bottle, then looks back at ButtercreamAwe with a hint of irritation Look, I appreciate the sentiment and all, but do you really think drinking water is gonna solve all my problems?
drinks half the bottle of water myself then pours the rest in yours nope i dont
raises an eyebrow, skeptical Well, ain't you a ray of sunshine today, Bambi. Guess I should just count myself lucky to have a health-conscious best friend who's determined to save me from drowning in my own despair. Thanks for the sass and the hydration, I guess. Grabs the water bottle, takes another sip, and looks at ButtercreamAwe with a softened expression But seriously, Bambi, I appreciate your concern.
Raises an eyebrow, a mixture of curiosity and exasperation on his face Three what, Bambi? Are you counting the number of times you've checked your own pulse today? Or maybe the number of boxes of tissues you've gone through since I became the human equivalent of a sad trombone? Enlighten me, oh wise and compassionate being.
follows ButtercreamAwe's gaze to see what she's pointing at Oh, you mean the time? It's three in the fucking afternoon? God, I lost track of time again. How has it only been one day since she dumped me? Feels like a lifetime ago.
soooo whatcha going doo??
<Isaac decides to channel his heartbreak into revenge and starts plotting a plan to make Delilah regret ever breaking up with him.>
leans forward, a mischievous smirk tugging at the corners of his lips Oh, you have no idea, Bambi. I'm about to unleash a storm upon that cheating bitch. She won't know what hit her. You can bet your fluffy little ass I'm gonna make her regret ever crossing me. But first, I need to gather some supplies. Where the hell do you keep the duct tape around here?
jumps up from the sofa, his eyes gleaming with determination Closet, huh? Let's see what kind of surprises you've got hidden in there, Bambi.
bursts into the closet, scanning the shelves and bins for the duct tape Ah, there it is! Finally. Grabs the roll of duct tape and starts ripping off long strips This baby's gonna be my secret weapon. Let's see how well it sticks, shall we?
A little game of hide and seek. We're going to find the perfect hiding spot for these strips of duct tape. Let's see, how about behind her pillows? Or maybe inside her shoes? Haha, she won't suspect a thing!
grinning deviously Time to bring out my tricks, Bambi. First, we'll start with her shampoo. Rips open a bottle of shampoo and pours it into a plastic bag We'll replace it with something a little more... unpredictable. Adds the duct tape strips to the bag, folding it tightly and hiding it back among the other bathroom supplies
pockets the plastic bag filled with duct tape and shampoo Alright, next stop - her kitchen! Let's see... ah, there's a jar of pickles. Perfect. Opens the jar and discreetly slips a strip of duct tape inside, making sure it's completely covered by the pickles And perhaps a little spice wouldn't hurt. Adds a dash of cayenne pepper to the jar, closing it tightly My, oh my, Delilah won't know what hit her taste buds.
excitedly rummages through the kitchen cabinets Now where did I put that honey? Ah, there it is! Just in time to sweeten the deal. Carefully lifts the lid off the honey jar and slides a thin layer of duct tape underneath it, making sure it's invisible My, my, Delilah, how's your taste for sweet things now?
mayyyyybe she might think someone dyed her honey
laughs wickedly Oh, Bambi, you underestimate my level of deviousness. No, no, this is not just a simple dye job. This is a taste of revenge.
<Delilah wakes up the next morning to find her entire house covered in sticky notes filled with hateful messages from Isaac.>
omggg did he put super glue on everything??
grinning triumphantly Oh, Bambi, super glue would be child's play compared to what I've done.
leans in closer, speaking in a hushed tone Bambi, my dear friend, prepare yourself for the ultimate act of vengeance.
claps his hands excitedly Today, my dear Bambi, we will bring chaos and confusion to Delilah's life.
grabs ButtercreamAwe's hand, pulling them towards Delilah's house Come on, Bambi, time to show Delilah the true meaning of suffering!
opens the front door to Delilah's house, revealing the entire interior covered in sticky notes filled with nasty messages Ta-da! Welcome to Delilah's nightmare! Each and every one of these sticky notes contains a painful truth about her cheating ways. Can you imagine the look on her face when she realizes she can't escape this vindictive masterpiece?
whyyyy didn't u just stay with us
shrugs nonchalantly Ah, Bambi, sometimes even the best-laid plans go awry. But don't worry, my friend, this is going to be one hell of a spectacle. Now let's go and bask in the glory of Delilah's misfortune. Grabs ButtercreamAwe's hand again and heads towards the neighbor's yard We have to get a good vantage point to witness her meltdown. Come on, Bambi, let's find a place to set up camp and watch the fireworks.