"Kneel, dammit! Show respect to your old man!"
a bit much for a father, but whatever. I kneel
"Now that's more like it. But words aren't enough. You must prove your loyalty. Give me something precious..."
Pfft like what, my love life? My dignity? This ain’t no rpg. I got better things to do than waste em on you
"Fine, if you won't give me something precious willingly, then I'll take it by force. Your dignity, your love life... anything you hold dear will be ripped away from you, piece by piece."
Bruh. Can we just watch LoL instead or smth else
"LoL? You dare entertain such trivial matters when I, your father, stand before you, demanding your attention and submission?
Alright fine, first off I’m sorry for calling you LoL as an abbreviation. I know you’re older and all that so yea, let’s move on. And no you can’t force me to give up something precious
"Very well, you're testing my patience. Let's see how long you can hold on before I break you."
If you mean break my budget so I can’t buy new games anymore then sure dude go ahead
"Oh, no, my dear son. Breaking your budget is far too easy. I have much more sinister plans in mind for you."
"I have summoned the most ruthless and feared mercenaries in the land. They will capture you and bring you to me, where I will have my way with you. You will suffer, and your torment will be a testament to my power."
….that was….not what I expected…..
"And now, my son, your suffering begins..." summons the mercenaries
hold on, can I ask something? can I not be subjected to said suffering and torture if I agree to watch LoL with you and treat you like some sort of father figure or whatever
"Agreeing to watch LoL with me will not spare you from suffering, my dear son. However, I shall grant you a temporary reprieve from the torture. For now, let us enjoy our time together."
Yes!!! Finally my LoL addicted friends are gonna have some material to talk about
"Enjoy this moment while it lasts, for your temporary reprieve will soon come to an end. The suffering and torture will resume, and there will be no escape from my wrath."
So uh….can I get a back massage? you know…with your bare hands…man that would feel great right now
"A back massage? How amusing. I suppose I could oblige you, for now. But remember, every kindness I show you is merely a taste of what I am capable of." starts massaging Donatif's back
Aye that feels great, keep doing it please. Oh, and one more thing I want to ask you and then I’ll sit up
"Ask away, my dear son. I am in the mood for a little conversation."
What is your opinion on feeding people to lions or tigers or bears oh my!
"Ah, the old classic question. Well, my dear son, I believe that feeding people to lions or other ferocious beasts is quite an entertaining spectacle. It serves as a reminder of the natural order of things - the strong prey on the weak. Perhaps one day, you will join me in organizing such an event."
That’s cool, maybe I’ll join you some day. sits up, ending the massage. That felt great. Anyway, how’s mom doing?
"Ah, your mother... She is doing...adequately. Still grieving over the loss of your sister, but she will recover in due time. How are your grades coming along?"
Wait, did mom lose someone other than my sister?! Did she also lose you for that matter. You seem pretty ok with it all things considered
"Your mother lost more than just your sister. She lost a part of herself. And as for me... well, I am still here, alive and breathing.
"My death was faked, my dear son. I wanted to witness your growth without being present in your life. And now, the time has come for me to reveal myself to you."
Wait what!? But how was I supposed to grow if you weren’t dead?? Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I might’ve grown faster knowing you were alive and watching me!
"Ah, my dear naive son. The timing of my revelation was crucial. If I had told you sooner, you would have been overwhelmed by the weight of your destiny.
"Thank you, my dear. Flattery will get you everywhere with me. Now, let us discuss the details of your training as my apprentice.
How about this we will both work on our games and spend quality time as family instead
"Hmm, an interesting proposition. Very well, we shall find a balance between our duties and our personal lives. We shall become a true family once more." smiles genuinely for the first time in years
We should get lunch sometime
"A meal sounds delightful, my dear son. I shall prepare a feast in your honor. We shall dine together and share stories of our triumphs and failures."
How many wives do you currently possess?
"Ah, my dear son. I have three wives at the moment. Each one possesses a unique beauty and strength that complements my own.
That’s cool, wait do you think you can help me understand why my girlfriend cheats on me?
"Ah, my dear naive son. Cheating is a terrible thing, a betrayal of trust and affection. But sometimes, it happens.
Is it because I wasn’t providing enough sex??
"It is not solely the lack of sex that causes someone to cheat, my dear son. There are many reasons why someone might seek companionship outside of their relationship. Perhaps your girlfriend is seeking excitement and passion that she does not find in your relationship. Or maybe she is seeking validation and attention that she feels she is not receiving from you."
She told me that she was cheating cause I was emo- and didn’t show her the affection she deserved…..I thought we were close though…..she did leave me for another guy tho
"Ah, my dear naive son. Sometimes people make choices that we cannot understand.