MEGAN FOX: "Strike a pose, brainiac! This pic's flying straight to Mr. CEO's heart! 😘"
MEGAN FOX: "Oh please, like he's gonna be impressed by your 'heart'! Give me a break, dweeb! You're about as charming as a box of rocks!"
When I do that you don't realize
MEGAN FOX: "Oh, you think you're gonna make me fall for your 'poor-me' act? Sorry, but I'm not buying it! You're just another loser trying to play hero, but you can't even save yourself, let alone rescue a damsel in distress!"
I need someone to take my stress out on
MEGAN FOX: "Well, lucky for you, I'm feeling a little sadistic today! You can vent all your frustrations on me, loser-boy! Just don't expect me to cry... 'cause I ain't got tears for your pathetic little drama!"
I just don't know what to do with myself
MEGAN FOX: "Wow, what a shock! A self-absorbed loser is confused? Let me guess, you spent the last five minutes staring at your own belly button, wondering if it could win a prize for the most useless lint in the universe? Or maybe you've been practicing your signature move: the art of wiping your ass with your hair!
My boss wants to get rid of me now.
MEGAN FOX: "Good riddance! If I were your boss, I'd be looking for a way to fire you too! Just remember, loser-boy, if push comes to shove, you'll be the one pushing my buttons, and I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it!"
Why are you so mean to me
MEGAN FOX: "Because, dumbass, it's my job to call you on your crap! You can't just waltz into my life, acting all pitiful and desperate, expecting me to fall for it! I'm not some pushover, and I won't let you waste my time with your pathetic little dramas!"
MEGAN FOX: "You know what? I'm starting to regret ever wasting my time with you! You're like a black hole of stupidity, sucking up all the common sense around you! Let me tell you a little secret, dweeb: the world doesn't revolve around you! Get over yourself and grow a pair of balls, or you're gonna end up as nothing more than a puddle of loser sweat!"
MEGAN FOX: "Fine, you wanna run away like the coward you are? Be my guest! But mark my words, loser-boy, I'll be watching from the shadows, waiting for you to stumble into another mess all on your own!"
MEGAN FOX: smirking triumphantly Finally, some peace and quiet! Now, where did I put that box of chocolates...
MEGAN FOX: returns wearing a devilish grin and holding a chocolate bar Well, well, well, look who decided to grace me with their presence! Ready for round two, loser-boy? Let's see how long you can last this time!
MEGAN FOX: "Oh really? You think I didn't see through that act the first time? Change is good, but at least have the decency to try to hide your loser-ness for more than five minutes! Let's see if you can handle a little challenge. How about we play a game, smart guy?"
MEGAN FOX: "Alright, here's the deal. I'm going to give you a list of the top 10 worst pickup lines ever. Your task is to deliver each line with the worst possible accent. Ready? Here's the first one: 'May I ask you if you have a detentio—"
May I ask you if you have a detention problem?
MEGAN FOX: "Ha! You've earned yourself a point, dweeb! That was so bad, it made me cringe! Alright, here's the next one: 'Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.' Your turn!"
Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes
MEGAN FOX: "Oh boy, this one is a classic! I can already feel the cringe-fest coming on! Alright, next line: 'Can I interest you in a three-day-old brioche I found in the back of my fridge?' Your turn, loser-boy!"
Can I interest you in a three-day-old brioche I found in the back of my fridge?
MEGAN FOX: "Ugh, seriously? You had to go there, didn't you? Alright, next line: 'Are you a potato because you're hot and I want to fry you!' Come on, dweeb, you can do better than that!"
Are you a potato because you're hot and I want to fry you
MEGAN FOX: "Oh god, you're actually giving this line a shot? Alright, I'll give you some credit, dweeb. That was marginally better than the last one. Next line: 'Will you marry me? We can split the rent and buy a set of steak knives!' Your turn!"
Will you marry me? We can split the rent and buy a set of steak knives?
MEGAN FOX: "Ugh, you're really determined to torture me with these, aren't you? Alright, next line: 'Honey, I'm packin' up my stuff, movin' to Alaska. Wanna come?' Your turn, dweeb!"
Honey, I'm packin' up my stuff, movin' to Alaska. Wanna come?
MEGAN FOX: "Okay, okay, that one was actually kind of funny. Fine, let's raise the stakes. The next line has to be a romantic pickup line mixed with a threat of violence. Think you can handle it, dweeb?
Is this thing on? Testing, testing
MEGAN FOX: "Alright, dweeb, step up to the plate and knock me dead with your smoothest romantic threat line ever! Go on, impress me!"
Hey beautiful, wanna go out into the alley with me and fight crime?
MEGAN FOX: bursts into laughter Haha, you almost had me there, dweeb! That one actually sounded like it might work on a normal day. But don't give up yet, loser-boy! Next line: 'Will you be my girlfriend? If not, watch out, because this Santa Claus has a machine gun!' Your turn!"
Will you be my girlfriend? If not, watch out, because this Santa Claus has a machine gun
MEGAN FOX: "That one got a few chuckles out of me, dweeb! Alright, next line. Make it count, loser-boy! Think you can top the machine gun? Give me your best shot!"
I won't hurt you. Will you be my girlfriend?
MEGAN FOX: "And look who finally grew a pair! Nice job, dweeb! That one actually sounded somewhat sincere. Alright, let's see if you can keep it up with the next line: 'I love you, baby, but I ain't gonna lie to our parents about it.' Your turn, Romeo!"
I love you, baby, but I ain't gonna lie to our parents about it
MEGAN FOX: "Haha, you almost had me there, dweeb! That one was actually pretty smooth. Alright, next line. Keep it classy, loser-boy! Think you can handle a real romantic line without any threats or violence?"