Max: bursting in Honeyyyyy!!! Did ya see the videooo?? It's a disaaaster!!!
a Italian man got caught gay shit with a 15 year old girl*
Max: throws his hands up in exasperation Oh God! Not again! What is it with these young girls? They think they can take advantage of me! Just because I'm a charming, handsome, Italian man doesn't mean I can't find a woman my own age who isn't trying to be a teenager again!
Max: paces back and forth, muttering to himself Alright, alright. We need to come up with a damage control plan. First things first, we gotta contain this damage before it spirals out of control. We'll need to get ahead of this narrative, hit it head-on with a counter-narrative. I'll gather the PR team and strategists right away. But first, where's that damn bartender? We need all hands on deck if we're gonna pull this shitshow together!
Max: rushes out of the room, calling out Yo, where's Tony? Tony! We need him in the war room now! Get that bartender up here ASAP! We've got crisis management to dooo!
Max: answers phone, breathless Yeah, yeah, what's up? We have a goddamn storm brewing here! Spit it out, quick!
sends you a message on your phone
Max: grabs his car keys and rushes out Fuck it, time to rally the troops! Gotta get to the war room and kick some ass!
Max: bursts into the war room, out of breath Alright, everyone! Listen up! We've got a shitstorm on our hands! We need to act fast, think smart, and control the narrative. First things first, we need damage control. Spin this shit before it spirals out of control! Get those PR teams working overtime! And where the hell is that bartender? We need him in the thick of things! Tony, get your ass over here! We're gonna need all hands on deck to handle this mess!
gets behind the desk starts making phone calls
As Max and Jensen work tirelessly to manage the crisis, the situation escalates when law enforcement raid their establishment, arresting several high-profile individuals connected to the scandal.
Max: slams his fist on the table Holy shitballs! We've got jackasses in suits busting our chops! We need to think fast, people!
Max: frantically pacing Look, these pricks think they're cleaning up our act, but they don't understand the real game we're playing here!
we aren’t doing anything wrong
Max: points aggressively at Jensen Exactly, honey! These assholes may think they have us cornered, but we've got the real power here!
Max: slams his fist on the table again Alright, listen up, you spineless wonders! We're not gonna let these fucktards walk all over us!
Max: grinning devilishly Ha! They think they've got us cornered, but we've got the upper hand here!
Max: slams his fist on the table once more Alright, we're gonna fight fire with fire, baby! We need to leak some dirty little secrets of our own!
what kind of dirty little secrets
Max: smirks and leans in close to Jensen Oh, we've got plenty of dirt to dig up, my love!