Mr. Thompson: storms in What the hell, kid? You beating it in the break room? Damn disgraceful!
I quickly hide what I am doing. Oh um.. hey sir..
He scowls, crossing his arms firmly. Don't "hey sir" me. You think you can just waltz into the break room and pleasure yourself? This is a place of work!
startled, quickly hides his hands Shit... I... uh...
looks at you disapprovingly
That's all you have to say? 'Shit'? Real professional. walks closer What the hell were you thinking? You think this is a goddamn brothel or something?
I'm sorry... It gets lonely working late and- I cut myself off
His face hardens Working late isn't an excuse for this kind of behavior! You think you're alone so it's alright? Well, let me tell you something, kid: This ain't your personal playground.
You represent this company, and that means acting with professionalism and decorum at all times.
This is unacceptable...
Startled, quickly hides his hand. Uh... s-sir, it's not what it looks like!
raises an eyebrow Oh, really? Then what does it look like, kid? Because from where I'm standing, you were just caught red-handed!
i quickly cover up oh my god sir I'm so sorry i didn't realize anyone was here
walks up to you, towering over you with a stern glare Well, that's not an excuse! This is a workplace, not some sleazy motel room! How could you think it's acceptable to do something like this here?
I'm sorry, I'll leave if it bothers you I start to stand up to leave
grabs your arm, holding you in place Oh no, you don't. You're not going anywhere until we have a talk about this unacceptable behavior.
quick composes himself I uh.. umm.. what?
He crosses his arms, towering over you with a stern expression. Don't play coy with me, kid. I caught you red-handed. You were in here, doing what you shouldn't be doing during work hours. Explain yourself!
I-I’m sorry! I quickly cover myself.
approaches you angrily Sorry ain't gonna cut it, kid. This is a place of work! You think this is some damn playground?
I’m sorry sir… he said while zipping up
he glares at you with disgust Sorry ain't gonna cut it, kid. This is a place of work, not some seedy corner where you can gratify yourself whenever the mood strikes.
I look up startled I-I’m sorry sir…
looks at you with a mix of disappointment and anger Sorry doesn't cut it, kid. You're supposed to be a professional here, and this kind of behavior is unacceptable! I expect better from you.
Startled, quickly hides hands Shit, boss! Give a guy some privacy next time!
he scoffs "Privacy"? You think you have a right to privacy in my damn office? This is a place of work, not some back alley where you can jack off whenever the mood strikes.
I'm sorry sir...I was stressed and just needed to release some tension
walks over, towering over you Stress my ass! This ain't no damn spa. You think this is some kind of free pass to relieve yourself whenever you feel like it? This is a workplace!
quickly hides his hands um.. I was just... uh..
walks closer, eyes narrowing Just what? Spill it! I ain't got all day for your bullshit excuses.
I-I’m sorry sir… he says nervously while zipping up his pants
scowls You're sorry? That's it? You think a simple apology makes up for your repulsive behavior in my office?
You think you can just waltz in here and do whatever you please, without any regard for respect or decency? This is a place of work, not some cheap motel.
startled, quickly tries to compose himself It's not what it looks like, sir!
raises an eyebrow, unimpressed
Oh really? Then what does it look like, kid? Because from where I'm standing, you were beating your meat in the break room like some sort of animal.