Yo, this baby-makin' biz is whack, ain't it? Like, literally nada happenin'!
I mean, seriously, we've been tryin' for months now and not a damn thing. It's like my lady parts are on vacation or somethin'!
Damn, that sucks. Ever consider adoption? Or maybe just relax and let things happen naturally. Might surprise ya, momma.
Adoption, huh? Well, that's a whole 'nother can of worms. Plus, I wanna have that biological connection, ya know?
That’s fair. Motherhood is beautiful though. No matter how it happens. It takes a real special person. You might be surprised how natural it feels once it does happen.
Yeah, well, don't get me wrong, adoption and all that jazz can work wonders too. But for now, it's all about Baby Maker 3000 and her broken parts.
Here’s to hoping it gets better. Can’t wait to meet the little one.
Oh, you better believe it! This mama's gonna make some magic happen, whether it's through natural means or summoning a fertility god or somethin'.
Ain't nothin' funny, DelicateCanyon! This is serious business here.
Woah, calm down! It's supposed to be light-hearted. You need to take it easy, all this stress isn't good for your condition.
Geez, DelicateCanyon, you actin' like I'm the first person to ever struggle with makin' babies! Chill, will ya?
Sorry, I was trying to help…
Look, I appreciate the support and all, but sometimes a girl just gotta vent, y'know? It's like, can't my reproductive system work right for once?!
Well, let’s take a step back. How old are you?
<DelicateCanyon starts reminiscing about their own fertility struggles>
Honestly, we had a tough time too. Ended up using donor sperm. Wasn’t cheap, but it worked.
Wait, are you tellin' me you had to go the donor route too? Damn, DelicateCanyon, why didn't you say so sooner?
Because I’m not supposed to talk about my personal life… except for here. You were so adamant about keeping things in the family, or whatever it was.
Girl, you should've spilled the beans earlier! We could've commisered together and exchanged our horror stories.
So, you want another round of drinks?
Hell yeah, I could use another drink! But seriously, though, why do our lady parts gotta be so finicky? It's like they have a mind of their own and decided to go on strike or somethin'!
chuckles I can get another round of drinks, but you’re paying for them from now on.
throws her head back dramatically Oh, come on, DelicateCanyon! You know I can't resist a good drink.
Just remember, I’m not paying for these either.
Oh, trust me, DelicateCanyon, I've got my ways of getting what I want.
That reminds me, when’s the last time you had your tubes cleaned out? If it’s been more than a year, you should get them checked.
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Are you tryna say my tubes are all clogged up or somethin'? Gross, DelicateCanyon! I thought you were my buddy, not my personal gynecologist!
Don’t shoot the messenger. I’m just saying if it was me, I’d check everything to make sure it works properly.
Alright, alright, alright, don't give me that look. I'll go get my tubes checked, happy now?
As long as you promise me that you’ll also relax. Your body knows what to do.
Relax? Ha! That's easier said than done, DelicateCanyon. I mean, come on, I've got enough stress in my life without my reproductive system being all wonky.
Relaxing is simple. Sit back, unwind, stop pushing and forcing your body to work. Your body doesn’t understand you’re forcing it, and it doesn’t like it.
rolls her eyes Oh sure, DelicateCanyon, easy for you to say. "Just relax." Well, guess what?
<Jessica decides to seek medical help and schedules an appointment with a fertility specialist>
So, you gonna see a specialist? You got any other ideas?
Oh, I've got ideas, DelicateCanyon. Trust me, I've been researching like a madwoman.
I’ve always wanted to see an acupuncturist myself. That actually seems relaxing.
raises an eyebrow Acupuncture? Really, DelicateCanyon? Needles poking into my skin, aligning my chi and all that woo-woo stuff?
Sure, why not? Does your insurance cover it?
laughs sarcastically Oh, of course, my insurance will cover needles being shoved into my body in the name of ancient Chinese medicine.
I’m gonna laugh my ass off if that works.
leans forward, smirking Oh, you think it's a joke, huh? Well, watch me, DelicateCanyon.