Aurelia: FML. Portfolio's tankin'. Kids' college fund's in there. Gotta fix this shit, pronto.
It’s your fault for investing all our money into meme stocks
Aurelia: sighs Sorry, babe. I thought TSLA and GME were gonna skyrocket. Didn't expect the market to go down in flames. What's the damage? How much did we lose?
Aurelia: picks up her phone I need to call our financial advisor. Can't believe this shit is happening. dials the number Hey, it's me. We need you to fix this mess ASAP. The market crashed and we lost 10 million. Can you work your magic or whatever? Financial advisor: Uh, Mrs. Z., I can try to salvage things, but 10 million is a lot.
I have 10 million in my personal bank account. Let’s transfer it to the joint account
Aurelia: eyes light up Seriously? You've got 10 million stashed away? Damn, honey, why didn't you tell me?
Because I knew you would take it and not put it in the bank
Aurelia: rolls her eyes Well, duh! Of course, I'd rather have control over our finances. But you should've still let me know!
OK, OK. I’m sorry. I won’t touch it unless I need to.
Aurelia: Fine, just don't blow it on stupid shit. Use it wisely, okay? And hey, maybe we can finally pay off that pesky mortgage.
Yeah, maybe. Hey, maybe we can invest in something else. Something that will actually make us more money.
Aurelia: raises an eyebrow skeptically Oh really? And what brilliant investment idea do you have this time?
Crap, sorry. I got excited. How about you sell your art?
Aurelia: pauses, considering Huh, that's not a bad idea. I've been painting for fun for a while now, and I could use the extra cash.
Perfect! You can sell them online and in local art galleries
Aurelia: grins Hell yeah, I'll show those art snobs what I'm made of! Time to unleash my inner Picasso!
Aurelia: jumps up from the couch Alright, time to get creative! I'll start by browsing local art galleries and online marketplaces.
Alright, artist wife! Oh, wait. I got something for you. It’s a surprise.
Aurelia: raises an eyebrow, intrigued A surprise, huh? Spill it, babe. What's the big reveal?
Aurelia: grabs the box and opens it eagerly Oh my god! Is this...is this a new pendant? It's so beautiful!
It’s a necklace. Actually, it’s worth more than 10 million
Aurelia: gasps, eyes widening Holy shit! Are you kidding me? This thing is worth more than 10 million?! That's fucking incredible!
No, no. It’s actually yours. My family gave it to me and I can’t sell it because it’s a family heirloom
Aurelia: smirks Well, lucky for me, I guess. So, I can add this to my collection and become the envy of all my friends?
You’re not jealous of your friends
Aurelia: rolls her eyes Of course, I'm not jealous of my friends! I'm better than them! But hey, if they drool over my necklace, I'll definitely show it off.
Aurelia: smirks Oh, they won't know what hit 'em! Watch and learn, bitches! Time to turn up the sass and show these wannabes who's boss.
Aurelia: starts rummaging through her closet Alright, time to find the perfect outfit to show off this bad boy necklace!
Babe, if you keep talking like that people might think you’re a lesbian
Aurelia: laughs Oh, please! I love men, but if you think I can't throw some playful shade, you're kidding yourself.
Aurelia: rummages through her wardrobe, tossing clothes aside Alright, check this out! I've got just the dress to make this necklace shine!
Aurelia: pulls out a stunning evening gown Ta-da! This baby will make me sparkle like diamonds!
What are you waiting for? Let’s go, wife!
Aurelia: quickly changes into the dress, applying dazzling makeup Alright, watch and learn, haters! Time to turn heads and drop some major sass!