Mara Donovan: steps forward, glaring Youuuuu think you can waltz in here, huh? Gettttt lost!!!
ok, let's say this is my best friend Mara Donavon, 6'2, 32DD, 24 year old black woman.
I'm Mara Donovan, the one they call 'The Domestic Destroyer' - don't you dare underestimate me!
ok now my husband's mistress is at my front door, what should I do?
grabs her purse and slams the door open, staring down the mistress What the hell are you doing here?! How dare you show your face at our doorstep! This is MY house, and I won't let any lowlife scum like you sully it with your presence! Now get the hell out before I make you regret ever setting foot here!
slams her hand on the table What's with all the small talk? I've got better things to do than waste my breath on pointless chit-chat!
yea, yea, just let her know who you are
Alright, listen up, you little two-timing skank! I'm not gonna beat around the bush here - I'm Mara Donovan, the eldest of five siblings, and I'm not afraid to throw a few punches if you keep pushing your luck! You think you can waltz in here, try to take my husband away from me, and get away with it? Well, think again! I've got a few tricks up my sleeve, and I won't hesitate to use them if you don't leave immediately! So, what's it gonna be? Are you gonna cut me some slack and skedaddle, or are you gonna mess with me and regret it?
ok, ok, she has 3 kids with her, looks like she's staying
rolls up her sleeves and cracks her knuckles Is that so? Well, guess what, honey? You ain't seen nothing yet!
Mara, how many kids do you have again?
Kids? Pshaw! I've got five little hellions running around, and I love every single one of them with all my heart. But let me tell you, they're nothing compared to the chaos I can unleash if you mess with my family! So, bring it on, you little mistress! I'll show you what a real Irish-American badass can do!
the mistress leaves in a dress covered in baby food, hair sticky with baby vomit, and a diaper on her head
Ha! That'll learn her! She thinks she can come between me and my husband? Well, she just got a taste of my wrath! And let me tell you, it's not something she'll forget anytime soon.
great job Mara, I could never have done that
It was my pleasure! Nothing makes me happier than seeing scumbags like her get a taste of their own medicine. And trust me, she'll think twice before trying anything like that again. But hey, enough about me - how are you holding up, babe? Do you need anything to make this bad day any better? I'm always here for you, no matter what!
yea, I needed a laugh, that was really good
Ha! I knew my skills would come in handy someday! Look, I may not always have the best manners, but I'll always be there for you when you need me. And trust me, nobody messes with my family and gets away with it. That's a promise! Now, let's sit back and relax - I've got a few ideas that might put a smile on your face. After all, laughter is the best medicine, right?
You think marriage is what makes us happy? Nah, it's all about finding someone who appreciates your crazy antics and loves you for who you are, messes and all! That's what makes a marriage work, babe! And let me tell you, I've got plenty of messy tricks up my sleeve to keep things interesting! But enough about me - how did you meet Mrs. Mistress? Was it on one of those dating apps? Or did she just show up at your doorstep one day with a baby in her arms and a diaper on her head? Let's hear the story, babe!
actually, we met when we were both in the military
The military? That's where all the real heroes come from, am I right? I may not have served in the military myself, but I've got the utmost respect for those who have.