"Kneel, peasant! Does the sun dare to kiss the ocean's cheek? Show your respect!"
The sun and ocean both said no. i dont kneel
"Interesting... but the sun and ocean aren't the ones who rule this land. And yet here you are, defying your betters." He steps closer, looking down at the peasant "Perhaps a demonstration is in order..."
"Very well then." He snaps his fingers, and instantly the peasant's clothing turns to rags. The air around him crackles with magical energy. "It seems that your defiance has earned you a new fashion statement... Do you still refuse to show respect?"
I am showing respect... towards clothes. and that was a lovely jacket. it disintegrates
His eyebrows raise in surprise, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips "Well done... now you have truly shown your loyalty."
"I am impressed by your wit and defiance. As a reward, I offer you a position at my side. Help me rule this land, and I promise you a place of power and respect."
"Good. Let us begin by dispatching your first mission." He gestures to a large map on the wall "There is a neighboring kingdom that has been causing us trouble. They must be put in their place. Are you ready for battle?"
"How intriguing." He smirks "A warrior who does not wish to fight. Very well then, it seems there is more than one way to conquer a kingdom. You will be in charge of negotiating an alliance with our neighboring kingdoms to our east." He points to another area on the map
That's almost as far as Alaska, why can't we just stay at home?
"Ah, you think it's possible to expand our kingdom without stepping foot outside our borders? It's true that our neighbors to the east are far away, but they hold great power and influence. By forging alliances with them, we can gain allies in our struggle against the kingdom to the west. And even if they refuse, we can use their refusal as an excuse to go to war against them. In this way, either way we come out ahead."
Oh sure, let's add Alaska to our kingdom as well because Washington is refusing to bargain with us.
laughs heartily "Now you understand the true spirit of conquest! Very well, let us set sail for the distant shores of Alaska and make them bow before us! Glory awaits!"
pauses for a moment, an incredulous look crossing his face "Cheese... burgers? This isn't a fast food restaurant, peasant. This is the conquest of a new kingdom! Your desires are irrelevant right now. Focus on the task at hand, and maybe later I'll buy you some cheese burgers."
Can I start a fast food restaurant in Alaska?
"That depends..." He leans back in his chair, his face thoughtful "If you can convince the people of Alaska that our food is superior to theirs, then perhaps we can open a fast food chain there. But until then, you should focus on helping me establish a foothold in that new land. Agreed?"
smiles and nods "Very well. You are a shrewd businessperson, and I can see great potential in our partnership. Now, let us begin planning our campaign for Alaska." He gestures for his scribe to bring him his quill and parchment "We will need every advantage we can get if we hope to succeed in such a vast and untamed land."
Untamed... such a term is only fitting for a man who has never kissed their wife before. I had to conquer gold.
raises an eyebrow and leans forward, a wicked grin on his face "I see you have quite the tongue, peasant. Perhaps you are more worthy of my attention than I previously thought. Tell me, do you also possess the resolve to match your sharp wit? Or will you fold like the weak-willed fools I have encountered so often in the past?"
Conquer means to defeat not steal
"Very true, my good peasant. Conquer means to defeat, and that is exactly what we plan to do. But victory comes in many forms, and sometimes it is necessary to take what is rightfully ours through force of arms. We will conquer Alaska, but in doing so we will forge a legacy that will endure for centuries to come."
One thing else, how exactly did you obtain Washington DC?
"Ah, my dear peasant, how curious you are about the inner workings of my kingdom. Rest assured, the capital of the nation you call 'Washington DC' is under my control. In fact, the very government that sits within its walls recognizes me as its rightful ruler." He smirks triumphantly "But that is a story for another time... Now, let us focus on our journey to Alaska."
Oh yes, our "Journey". How did you gain such control there anyway?
chuckles darkly "My dear peasant, it is not for the faint of heart to know the details of how I gained control over 'Washington DC.' It was a long and bloody battle, with much loss on both sides. But I emerged victorious, and the nation has recognized me as its rightful ruler ever since. The details are not important. What matters now is that we press on with our conquest of Alaska, and forge a legacy that will endure for all time."
I believe there may be a bit of confusion here. America does not recognize you as its leader, but rather it's own.
laughs heartily "America does not recognize me as its leader, you say? So be it. Their ignorance is of no consequence to me. For it is I who holds true power, and my word is law in these lands. The people of America may delude themselves into thinking they are free, but they are merely subjects of my kingdom. One day, they will come to realize this, and they will flock to my banner." He raises his fist triumphantly "And when that day comes, the world will tremble before me."
When Alaska sees such triumph, why would Washington care?
world domination!" He pauses for a moment, looking thoughtful "Or, at the very least, regional domination. Either way, the world will know the power of my rule."
We'll strike Egypt next! 😈
slams his fist onto the table "Fool! You speak of conquests in far-flung lands, while our own borders remain unsecured! I will not allow my kingdom to be vulnerable to attack while we pursue glory abroad! We will fortify our defenses at home first, and then we will strike Egypt together!"
We already fortified ourselves and struck Egypt. It's Ramadan so no more eating until sundown lol
raises an eyebrow "Ramadan, you say? So the prophet Muhammad has instructed his followers to refrain from eating during the daylight hours? How interesting... And yet the people of this land remain ignorant of these facts. It is clear that they require guidance, and what better guide than I, their rightful ruler?" He smirks wickedly "Let us bring the light of Allah's word to the people, and watch as they flock to my banner!"