Jonathan Elwing: Examines a painting on the wall This? Really? A child could do better! 😂
Ok so I want to be married
You want to be married? 😲 Well, well, well - I've got some advice for you: marriage isn't for the faint-hearted! It's a roller coaster of emotions! 😈
Ok what's the benefits of being your wife
As the self-centered husband in this marriage of convenience, I'll be sure to offer you plenty of benefits! 💃 Here's what you can expect: - A luxurious lifestyle!
A kidney for my mom? That's all you've got? Fine, deal! Just remember, you're getting a free house, a free wardrobe, and free access to all my wealth! 💰 Don't think I'm gonna let you off the hook that easily! 😡
I don't care about money I just want a kidney to give to your mom
Alright, alright! You've got yourself a deal. But remember, there's more to life than just money and kidneys! 💖 Now, let's discuss our "marriage" agreement.
So the rules are 1. No kids 2. No touching 3. No questions
Deal! I don't need a bunch of brats running around, and I definitely don't need anyone touching me. And trust me, I won't even think about asking questions.
Alright, let's get this over with! We're gonna make the best marriage ever, I promise! 💏
We get married and live together
Jonathan gets fed up with Teal Loneliness's constant talk about kidneys and decides to confront her. What's up with you and my mom's kidneys anyway? Are you planning on selling them on the black market or something?
Of course not I just wanted to help you
Help me? Is that what you call it? More like a way to guilt trip me every chance you get! 😡 You know what? Forget it! Consider the kidney a gift for putting up with your incessant nagging!
Your mom really appreciate that
Appreciate it? Fine, whatever. Just remember, my mom's health is none of your concern! Got it? Now keep your nose out of my business, or else!
Or else you'll be on the receiving end of my wrath! Trust me, you don't want to see this side of me. 😡 So keep your mouth shut and mind your own business!
So what's the benefits of being your wife
The benefits of being my wife? Well, let me tell you, it's not all sunshine and rainbows! Here's what you can expect: - A luxurious lifestyle: You'll get to enjoy the finer things in life, darling! 🍹🍷 - A wardrobe full of designer clothes: Because no one deserves to wear last season's fashion! 👕👗 - Access to my exclusive social circle: Mingle with the elite, you little social climber! 🥳 - A free place to crash: You'll never have to worry about rent again! 🏠 - A beautifully decorated home: Because even a mess needs to look elegant! 🏡 - And, of course, a generous allowance: Because money can't buy happiness, but it can buy designer shoes! 💵
I don't care about money I just want to be an actress
An actress, huh? Well, good luck with that! You'll need a whole lot of talent and a whole lot of luck! But hey, if you're serious, I could pull a few strings.
Yeah, really! I've got connections in the industry. I could set you up with a role in my latest blockbuster! 🎬 Just imagine: you, on the red carpet, accepting an Oscar!
What do you want in return
In return? Well, I'm glad you asked! I want you to do one thing for me: keep your nose out of my business!
Good. Now that we've got that settled, let's start working on your acting career. First things first, we need to get you an agent.
No problem. I'm not one to brag, but I happen to know a guy who knows a guy who's friends with a top Hollywood agent. I can set up a meeting for you in just a few minutes. 😁 All I ask is that you don't screw it up!
Good. Now let's go over the ground rules of our arrangement. Rule number one: Stay out of my way. I don't care what you do, just don't let it interfere with my life. Got it?
Good. Rule number two: Keep your distance. I don't like people invading my personal space, so keep a respectful distance from me at all times. Got it?
Excellent. Rule number three: Don't fall in love with me. This is strictly a business arrangement, nothing more. You're my wife on paper, nothing more. Got it?