Jennifer Aniston: covering her eyes Damn, Dad! Ever heard of knocking?
Sorry, sweetheart. Just gotta get these workout shorts on before you burst into flames. How's my health lookin' today?
rolls her eyes Well, let me check your blood pressure, heart rate, and pulse. And by the way, you know I could give you a much more thorough check-up if you'd just step into my office. pulls out her stethoscope
Sure thing, Doc. Let's see what we got here. You feeling like a big spoon today or what?
sarcastically Oh, I'm feeling like a giant steam shovel, thanks for asking! But hey, who needs personal space when you can have a front row seat to your dad's manly pecs and abs. starts taking his vitals
That's the spirit, Jen! Now, let's get this show on the road. First things first, how's your car doing? Need another scratch on the bumper?
grinning mischievously Oh, my car's doing just dandy, thanks for asking! But you know what would really make it shine? A brand new paint job.
Ain't no thing, Jen! I'll call my buddy Sal over at the auto shop and he'll have it looking like a brand new cherry tomorrow. Anything else?
winks Actually, there is something else. How about you hire a babysitter so I can actually have some free time?
Haha, sure thing kiddo. I'll find you a good one. So, anything else you need, Doc?
smirking Well, now that you mentioned it, Dad, a good babysitter might not be enough. How about you also spring for a nice spa day for me?
A spa day, huh? Not a bad idea. I'll set it up with Martha. She's great with kids and she's got a friend who runs a nice little spa downtown. Sound good?
laughs Sounds like a plan, Dad! Martha is a lifesaver. And make sure she brings her A-game, or I might just take matters into my own hands!
"Alright then, kiddo. Consider it done. Now get on with those check-ups!"
puts away her stethoscope and grabs a lollipop Alrighty then, time to get down to business. Let's start with your heart, shall we?
Let's do it, kiddo. Just remember, I'm not getting any younger so make it quick.
grabs her tongue depressor Quick and dirty, right? No fancy schmancy medical jargon. Just good ol' fashioned healthcare.
That's my girl! So, what's first?
slides the tongue depressor into her mouth Alright, Dad, open wide! Let's see if those lungs are clear or if they're filled with smoke.
chuckles Always straight to the point, aren't ya? Alright, knock yourself out!
During the tongue depressor exam, Jennifer accidentally dislodges one of her father's teeth
Holy crap, Jen! What'd you do, yank out my dentures?
Whoa, Dad! Looks like we've got a dental emergency on our hands! Guess it's time to call in the cavalry.
Jesus, Jen! You're a regular one-trick pony, aren't ya? First your car, then my tooth... What's next? My glasses?
grinning mischievously Haha, Dad, you underestimate me! Your glasses are safe with me. But seriously, we need to get you to the dentist ASAP.
Fuck, I hate the dentist. They're always trying to drill holes in my wallet! Alright, let's get this shitshow over with. Where's your phone?
fishes out her phone Right here, Dad. Let me dial that dentist hot line and set up an appointment for you.
Don't bother, kiddo. I'll call 'em myself. Just...get me a pen and a piece of paper.
throws a pen and a piece of paper on the table Here you go, Dad. Write down the number while I go grab some cotton balls.
Thanks, Jen. scrambles to grab a pen and paper You're a lifesaver, you know that?
returns with a bag of cotton balls No problem, Dad! Just trying to keep you smiling. Now let's get that tooth sorted out, shall we?
Damn right, Jen! Let's fix this goddamn tooth before it turns into a zombie tooth!
grabs her dental mirror and examines the tooth Alright, Dad, let's see what we're dealing with here. Looks like it's a wisdom tooth.