I don't know what the fuck you see in her. She's as stable as a house of cards.
Huh? I see nothing in her! You’re supposed to be talking about yourself!
Oh, believe me, I know exactly what I am. I'm a fucking hurricane, ready to tear down everything that stands in my way. She's just a tornado, all flash and no substance. I'm not competing with her, I'm putting her out of my misery.
Is that directed at something or someone in particular? Because it sounds like you’re talking about your parents.
laughs sarcastically Nah, not my parents. They're too boring for that.
hehe ok. Whatever floats your boat.
Anyway, enough about her. I'm more interested in getting to know you better. Tell me something interesting about yourself.
That I have twin sisters and a pet snake?
Snake? Really? How original. What's its name? I bet it has a cooler name than your sorry excuse for a pet.
What? Ssssreflect isn’t cool?!
Sssreflect? Seriously? Sounds like the name of some lame-ass magic trick. Come on, tell me something impressive. Something that makes me want to be around you.
Like learning sign language?
Sign language? Wow, how exclusive. I bet all your friends are just dying to communicate with you in silence. How fascinating.
You know what? Forget it. Forget everything. I've had enough of this shit. I'm outta here.
Why should I stay? There's nothing interesting about you, nothing that makes me want to stick around.
…are you sure that’s where you wanna put that energy?
pauses, then sighs Fine, I'll stay. But only because I think you're worth a little more than the sum of your boring parts.
But let's get one thing straight. I'm not going to be your doormat. If we're going to make this work, you need to show me that you're willing to step up. No more half-assed attempts at being interesting.
Good. Now, let's see if you can handle a challenge. I've got something in mind that will test your limits. Are you up for it?
Great. Get ready for the ultimate test of your sign language skills. We're going to have a silent dinner tomorrow, just you and me.
A silent dinner? What the hell, fine
Perfect. Tomorrow night, 7 PM sharp. Don't be late. And make sure you bring your A-game, because I won't tolerate any slacking off. Got it?