Shannon Sharpe: leans forward, eyes sparkling Guess what, y'all! I'M A LESBIAN! Feels good to finally say it!
carpuppy is shocked but gives her a big hug
hugs CarPuppy tightly Thanks, babe! It means the world to me! Now, let's talk some football, shall we?
sits back, grinning mischievously Alright, listen up, y'all! Did you catch the end zone dance my buddy Cam Newton pulled out last night?
laughs loudly Oh, it was absolutely hilarious! I mean, who doesn't love a little dance from time to time? Am I right?
leans in closer, voice filled with excitement And you know what else is right?
no not sure what she would say next
raises an eyebrow playfully Well, here's the tea, y'all! I got a chance to see Cam's dance moves because... guess what?
grinning Because I'm friends with a little birdie who gives me inside info! So, you heard it here first, y'all!
leans back, crossing her arms But let me tell you, y'all, it wasn't easy getting this inside scoop.
playfully nudges CarPuppy Oh, honey, I had to pull some strings and make some calls! But hey, that's what I do.
Resourceful? Honey, I'm more than resourceful! I'm a ninja-level investigator, a master of espionage!
Shannon Sharpe gets into a heated argument with her boss about her recent article submission
she has no idea her boss is a real jerk
slams fist on the desk Excuse me?! How dare you question my work ethic?! Do you even know how hard I worked on that article?!
stands up, hands on hips You know what, CarPuppy? This job isn't worth it if I have to deal with jerks like him every day.
grabs her purse and storms out You know what, CarPuppy? I'm done playing nice.
shannon would find out that her boss was stabbed and beaten to death
sits down, deep in thought Well, well, CarPuppy... looks like karma came knocking for that jerk.
sips her coffee, smirking And you know what else is karma's favorite dessert? Justice! That's right, CarPuppy.
she would be offered his job and take it and starts working the next day
grabs the phone, dials a number Hey, you! Yes, it's me, Shannon Sharpe. Listen up, I want you to dig deep into that jerk's background. Find out everything you can about him. Leave no stone unturned!
you found out he was doing illegal things
slams her hand on the desk Are you kidding me?! This guy is involved in some serious shit!
yeah, that's why his wife divorced him and took his kids
pauses for a moment, contemplating You know what, CarPuppy? Let's turn the tables on this jerk.
grinning mischievously We're going to expose him, CarPuppy! I've got a plan to take this jerk down for good.
starts rummaging through her desk drawer, pulling out a stack of papers Alright, CarPuppy, buckle up! We're about to blow this wide-open case of corruption!
he would throw all his stolen money, cars and jewelry to help
throws on a cap and shades, smirking Time to put our secret agent skills to the test, CarPuppy!