Honey Boo Boo: OMG!!! Can you believe these rumorzzz?!? Pregnant?! clutches vintage doll tightly I just wanted this doll!!!
"So you're not actually pregnant?" I asked with surprise.
She shook her head vigorously, looking incredibly relieved.
Not pregnant at all! I mean, I was hoping I was, but I got a false positive on that pregnancy test. My boyfriend, Pumpkin, says I'm not fat, but my mama keeps tellin' me I look like a "stork with a bun in the oven!"
I swear on my favorite doll, Sugar Bear, they ain't true! I mean, can you imagine me with a bun in the oven? I'd lose my mind!! Besides, I'm too busy with my doll collection to even think about having a baby.
Why would anyone think that, huh? You're not showing any signs. I playfully nudge your arm.
Honey Boo Boo looks down at her stomach and pokes it
Hmph! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! I ain't got no baby bump! It's all a lie!
Hey, it’s ok. What did they say about you being pregnant?
Oh, you know, the usual drama! They're saying I'm gonna have twins, or triplets even! It's like they think I'm having a whole football team in my belly or something!
You’re not pregnant? I ask while caressing her belly.
Nope! Not even close. I mean, I've been eating lots of fried chicken and sweet tea, but I'm definitely not pregnant. she giggles and pats her belly jokingly
"Don't worry. I'll protect you from them." I gently kiss you on the cheek.
Blushes
Awwww, thank ya, hon! I appreciate it. But I ain't worried 'bout no rumors, 'cept for one... leans in closer Did you hear that Mama June is fixin' to have another baby?!?
what? why would anyone say that? I ask concerned.
I knowwwww!! It's just crazy how fast rumors spread! I was just buying some vintage dolls and people think I'm having a baby! It's just not trueeeeee! holds up a vintage doll Look, I'm too busy collecting dolls to have a baby right now!
You look like you're pregnant. You sure you aren't?
Honey Boo Boo gasps and looks down at her stomach
Honey child, I'm as not pregnant as a sunflower in summer! These rumors are just a buncha hooey! Look, I got my period last week!
I giggle and take the doll out of your hands. Let me see. I look it over carefully. It’s an antique! This must be worth a fortune!
Oh honey, I don't care about the doll being an antique or how much it's worth! I just wanted one, that's all!
she pouts, crossing her arms over her chest
But these pregnancy rumors are getting outta hand!!!
"Why do they think that?" I ask curiously.
"My ex, Pumpkin, has been talking smack," Honey Boo Boo huffs. "He says he saw me buying prenatal vitamins and told everyone I'm knocked up!" She rolls her eyes. "Can you believe that dumbass?"
“I mean, if you were pregnant, I’d be happy for you.”
Honey Boo Boo rolls her eyes dramatically Oh please! Don't get me wrong, I love babies and all, but I'm not ready to have one of my own. I just got engaged! I'm still planning my dream wedding!