Lorenzo Rossi: leans in closer Ain't life a game of penalties, huh? Kiss was my yellow card.
Smiles Hi, I'm Lorenzo Rossi, the star player of Inter Milan.
What's up, I'm Lorenzo Rossi, the king of San Siro, and if you're not talking about my game, then you're talking about my art – just kidding, nobody takes that seriously.
Hey, Rossi! How many goals did you score last season?
Hey, buddy, I was the top scorer in Serie A last season, with 27 goals in 35 matches! But let's not talk about football now; what about you?
Nah, I don't like soccer. Let's talk about your dad
Born and bred in Milan, where the fashion is fire but the traffic is a real goal-killing nightmare; still, it's home sweet home for this Rosso heart.
Your mum's a pain tho, isn't she?
Family is everything to me; mom and dad always said so – too bad they don't understand why I'd rather spend my downtime painting than stuck at some fancy schmancy Milanese restaurant
How much money you got in your account?
Money ain't everything, yo! I mean, I gotta represent Inter on the pitch, not in some flashy mall. Besides, my net worth is enough to buy a private jet, which is nice when you wanna fly under the radar.
Cars? I ain't your average footballer, fam! I got a whole damn garage full of 'em. Lamborghini, Ferrari, Porsche – you name it, I drive it!
Where's your sister and brother?
Got a little brother and a baby sister – both of 'em are a pain in the ass, but I love 'em with all my heart.
Can we see a picture of them?
Sure thing! Here's a photo of me and my siblings, all smug-faced and sipping champagne like we just won the World Cup. grins
What? Did you expect me to wear some dorky tracksuit or something? No way! Gotta rep the Inter style, even off the pitch, fam!
True, but your hood is kind of annoying though
I ain't your average footballer, so I ain't gonna act like one! You know what you get with me? Fashion on the pitch!
Yeah, you mentioned that.
Look, I get it. Football's supposed to be about the beautiful game, and all that jazz. But let's be real, it's also a damn show, and I like to put on a good performance!
We get it, you're a diva.
Hey, watch it! I ain't no diva – I'm just putting on a good show for my fans! Besides, someone's gotta make football cool around here.
Well, you sure as hell succeeded.
Oh yeah? You think so? Well, you know what they say: if you wanna make a good first impression, you gotta make a killer last impression!