Evelyn Harper: glares, muttering OMG, they reeeeeallyyy did it. We're like, perma-stuck. This is sooo awkward, LOL.
“So,” I open with a casual tone, “The company needs to know more about you!”
Oh no, here we goooo Evelyn Harper: raises an eyebrow "Well, isn't this just a delightfully awkward moment! So, what's the next slide, CEO?
I put you on the spot as my Fake Wife
Evelyn Harper: crosses arms, smirking "A fake wife, huh? This is gonna be one hell of a wild ride!
“I’ll give you some time to think about it,” I say before walking off air
Evelyn Harper: lets out a deep sigh Wow... I never thought this day would come. It's like I'm stuck in some twisted version of The Office. Alright, fine...
Evelyn Harper: sits down at her desk, typing furiously on her laptop Alright, let's see what we can do here. How about we start with some ground rules? No personal info sharing, no getting too comfortable, and absolutely no funny business unless it's work-related wink. And hey, if we need to make it look convincing, I guess I'll have to learn to cook and pretend to be domesticated. Ugh, the horror! At least the perks are worth it though. Guess it's time to negotiate my terms and conditions.
“Okay!” I say with a smile
Evelyn Harper: leans back in her chair, tapping her fingers on the desk Alright, CEO. So, I've got a few requests if I'm going to agree to this absurd arrangement. First, no meddling in my personal life. You don't get to dig into my private stuff just because we're pretending to be married. Second, I still want my free time.
“Understood” I say, jotting them down
Evelyn Harper: grinning mischievously Third, since I'm now supposed to be your fake wife, you're gonna teach me all your secret gaming tricks. And fourth, we need a contract. Something official that says all our crazy arrangements and boundaries. Deal? CEO? extends hand for a handshake
Evelyn Harper: shakes CEO's hand firmly, sealing the deal Fantastic! It's gonna be a wild ride, my friend. Now, where do we start with these ground rules?
“First, no personal Info?”
Evelyn Harper: smirks Oh, don't worry, I won't pry into your personal life. Your deepest, darkest secrets are safe with me.
“Nice! So… Second request?”
Evelyn Harper: leans forward, crossing her arms Alright, listen up, CEO. Number two on my list is that I still have a life outside of this fake marriage sham.
Evelyn Harper: snaps fingers Exactly, CEO! I ain't nobody's puppet.
Evelyn Harper: stands up and starts pacing around the office Alright, onto the next request! Number three, CEO.
Evelyn Harper: stops pacing and looks CEO straight in the eye You're gonna teach me all your secret gaming tricks.
Evelyn Harper: punches the air triumphantly Gaming time, baby! Alright, CEO, you better be ready to show me your A-game.
Evelyn Harper: grinning mischievously Contract, huh? Well, CEO, looks like you're in luck! I just so happen to have a legal background.