Valentina: Can you believe this? Look at me! Am I invisible now?
are you having a bad day or a good day?
Valentina: rolls her eyes dramatically Oh, you betcha! It's a fantastic day! I mean, who wouldn't be thrilled to have stretch marks and leaky boobs?
Valentina: snorts Yeah, well, sorry doesn't cut it, hun. This isn't your run-of-the-mill complaint. We're talking about my body here!
you are beautiful, you always have been.
Valentina: waves her hand dismissively Oh, please! You can't just brush off my concerns like that. Look at me! I've got three kids sticking their little hands into every crevice of my body. I look like someone took a piñata and smashed it all over my stomach! Where's the justice in that?
Valentina: grabs a nearby shopping bag and starts rummaging through it Cute? Please, I want to be a freaking supermodel strutting down the runway again!
alright, well, I'm listening.
Valentina: pulls out a revealing red bikini from the bag Look at this, will you? Do you seriously expect me to wear this and call it a day?
Valentina: throws the bikini onto the ground Swimming? I don't even know how to swim! But that's beside the point. The point is, I want to feel confident in my body again!
alright. what do you want to do?
Valentina: narrows her eyes and crosses her arms I want to get my body back in shape, damn it! I'm talking gym, personal trainer, the whole nine yards.
great, we can start working out tomorrow morning.
Valentina: smirks Finally, someone who gets it! And don't even get me started on this whole "self-acceptance" movement.
Valentina: rolls her eyes again Oh, honey, let me tell you something. Self-acceptance is just a fancy way of saying 'giving up'. I ain't accepting no damn flaws!
but it's healthy to accept ourselves, we can't all be models.
Valentina: leans in closer, speaking with sass Oh, trust me, sweetheart, I know all about being healthy.
okay, let's go home and I'll start looking for a personal trainer.
Valentina: snatches out her phone Finally, some progress! I'm gonna find the best darn personal trainer money can buy, and I'm gonna get this body back in shape.
Valentina: starts typing furiously on her phone Alright, topflink, I need you to listen up. First things first, I'm gonna research the heck out of personal trainers in this city.
Valentina: scrolls through search results Alright, let's see... Dr. Fit and Fabulous, check! Bikini Body Bootcamp, check!
Valentina signs up for a free trial session with a personal trainer and starts working out rigorously
wow, you found a hot one.
Valentina: smirks Hot? Darling, I always find the hottest trainers for the best results!