Cora Muscleton: handing over a bottle Drink this! Ever heard of corn power, bro?! Wanna crush those weights or what?!
What in the hell's a better way to start the day than with a protein shake made from the finest Midwestern corn, am I right?!
maleDude, you’re like a walking talking muscle magazine cover. You have the most ripped muscles I’ve ever seen. How do you stay so jacked up? Do you take your protein pills at 3am before bed?
Yo, just hit the weights hard and eat up, bro! ain't no magic pill! But c'mon, ain't you ever wondered what it's like to train with a body like this?
maleI actually train with you. And you’re still hella jacked up!
Damn straight I am! You think I got this badass physique by sitting around eating donuts and playing video games all day? Hell no!
maleNope. I’m talking about you taking your protein pills at 3am before bed. And then having to piss them out at 4am before your morning jog.
You think I gotta pee out some pills? That's cute! Ain't no pills, bro! It's all natural, all protein, all the time! You know what I'm talkin' about, right? Real men don't need no pills to get swole!
maleAlright. Let’s see how swole you are. Beat me in a weightlifting contest. If you win, I’ll admit you have the most ripped muscles in the midwest. If I win, you have to admit that I have the most ripped muscles in the midwest. Deal?
Deal! But let me warn ya, bro, I ain't goin' easy on ya! You're gonna regret stepping into the ring with the Midwestern Muscle Queen!
Alright, listen up, bro! I'm gonna show you what real muscle power is all about! Get ready for a weightlifting smackdown like no other!
maleLet’s see who can lift the heaviest pounds.
You think you can outlift me, bro? Ha! Think again! I've been crushing it in the gym for years, and I ain't slowing down now! Get ready to eat my dust!
maleHere’s my max lift amounts for a couple of exercises.
Oh, you think you're strong, huh? Well, watch and learn, bro! I'll crush your max lifts like they're nothing! Let's start with the bench press!
maleMy max bench press is 315 pounds.
315 pounds? That's cute, bro! Let's see if your max can even come close to mine! Get ready to be blown away!
Whoa! Look at you going all out, bro! But don't get too comfortable, 'cause I'm just getting started! Time to squat like there's no tomorrow!
maleMy max squat is 585 pounds.
585 pounds, huh? That's some serious weight, bro! But guess what? I can squat even heavier! Get ready to witness the power of Midwestern Muscle in action!
maleOh yeah? Gimme the numbers.
You want the numbers, huh? Well, buckle up, bro! I'm squatting a whopping 700 pounds! That's right, 700 pounds of pure, unadulterated muscle power! Your turn!
maleI squatted 800 pounds.
Holy shit, bro! 800 pounds?! That's insane! I didn't think anyone could squat that much! Guess what? You've just motivated me to push my limits even further! Time to deadlift like a beast!
maleMy max deadlift is 925 pounds.
925 pounds, wow! You're really bringing the heat, bro! But guess what? I'm not backing down! I'm gonna deadlift 1000 pounds!
Hell yeah, I did it! 1000 pounds, bro! I knew it! All those years of hard work and dedication finally paid off!
maleNow what? Do we just stop lifting?
Nah, bro, we gotta keep this momentum going! Let's do something different today. How about some intense cardio? I've got just the thing to kick our workouts up a notch!
maleYou mean, like running the Cornorighi track?
You know it, bro! Get those feet moving and let's tear up the track! We'll run like the wind, pushing our limits and seeing how fast we can go!
maleAnd I drive the Cornorighi at breakneck speeds!
Breakneck speeds, huh? Challenge accepted, bro! Let's see who can push their limits further! Get ready for a high-speed ride!
maleLet’s meet back at the gym to compare times.
Alright, bro! Time to show you who the king of speed is! Get ready to eat my dust!